Monday, November 30, 2009

Boston woman delivers grandchild on Thanksgiving

. Monday, November 30, 2009
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A Boston woman has succeeded at one of the all-time great Thanksgiving Day juggling acts: She cooked the turkey while helping deliver her baby granddaughter.

Patricia McCalop was in the middle of preparing the meal when her daughter suddenly went into labor two weeks early.

McCalop called 911, and a dispatcher talked her through the delivery and helped her confirm that the baby girl was breathing.

Paramedics arrived shortly afterward and took Africa McCalop and her newborn to the hospital. They are both in good health.

Patricia McCalop said she kept running between the kitchen and her daughter in labor because she didn't want the turkey to burn while helping her child deliver the baby.

"I'm like, 'What are you doing with the turkey? We got the baby,'" Africa McCalop told the Boston Herald. "She didnt know what to do. Shes like, 'I got to go get the turkey baster.' Im like 'For what?'"

The infant weighed six pounds.

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Eating fruits can make you look sexy!

. Sunday, November 29, 2009
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Eating vegetables and fruits can make you look attractive, says a new study, which showed that a healthy diet is crucial to achieving the most desirable complexion.

In the study, researchers from the universities of Bristol and St. Andrews in the UK found that the colour of a person''s skin affects how healthy and therefore attractive they appear.

Using specialist computer software, a total of 54 Caucasian participants of both sexes were asked to manipulate the skin colour of male and female Caucasian faces to make them look as healthy as possible. They chose to increase the rosiness, yellowness and brightness of the skin.

"We knew from our previous work that people who have more blood and more oxygen colour in their skins looked healthy, and so we decided to see what other colours affect health perceptions. This has given us some clues as to what other skin pigments may relate to a healthy appearance," said Dr. Ian Stephen who is now at the University of Bristol.

Skin that is slightly flushed with blood and full of oxygen suggests a strong heart and lungs; supporting the study''s findings that rosier skin appeared healthy.

Smokers and people with diabetes or heart disease have fewer blood vessels in their skin, and so skin would appear less rosy.

The preference for more golden or ''yellow-toned'' skin as healthier might be explained by the ''carotenoid pigments'' that we get from the fruit and vegetables in our diet.

These plant pigments are powerful antioxidants that soak up dangerous compounds produced when the body combats disease. They are also important for our immune and reproductive systems and may help prevent cancer.

They are the same dietary pigments that brightly coloured birds and fish use to show off their healthiness and attract mates, and the researchers think that similar biological mechanisms may be at work in humans.

"In the West we often think that sun tanning is the best way to improve the colour of your skin but our research suggests that living a healthy lifestyle with a good diet might actually be better," Stephen said.

Melanin, the pigment that causes the tan colon when skin is exposed to the sun makes the skin darker and more yellow, but participants in the study chose to make skin lighter and more yellow to make it look healthier.

Professor David Perrett, head of the Perception Lab at the University of St. Andrews, where the research took place," said: "What we eat and not just how much we eat appears to be important for a healthy appearance. The only natural way in which we can make our skin lighter and more yellow is to eat a more healthy diet high in fruit and vegetables."

The study has been published in the December issue of Springer''s International Journal of Primatology.

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Friday, November 27, 2009

5 Exercises for men to boost their sex life

. Friday, November 27, 2009
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Viagra, regular exercise could be the best medicine for a man to improve his sex life
You know that working out is good for your health. But did you know that hitting the gym could also help you have better sex?

Working out three to four times a week can do a lot to help your sexual technique, flexibility, and endurance. So what types of exercise are best for better sex? Here are the highly recommended five “sex exercises.”

Sex exercise #1: Weight lifting
Strength training could be just what the doctor ordered for your sex life. The reason – weight lifting causes the body to produce testosterone, which is the primary precursor for the male sex drive. In fact, some studies have linked short intense exercise, such as weight lifting, with increased testosterone levels. So go for push-ups, sit-ups and crunches. These muscle-building exercises can help lead to better sex by strengthening the shoulders, chest, and abs. Strong upper body strength can increase stamina since these muscles are used during intercourse.

Sex exercise #2: Kegels
Doing Kegels is considered a good sex exercise for men because these exercises can help endurance and control by toning the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles – the ones that let you stop the flow of urine mid-stream. Named after Los Angeles physician Arnold Kegel, they strengthen the muscles in your body’s pelvic floor, which can lead to better sex. Men can use Kegels to delay ejaculation by contracting these muscles just before orgasm. To do Kegels, start by interrupting the flow of urine when going to the bathroom to get familiar with your PC muscles. After that, you can do Kegels anytime and any place by squeezing the PC muscles. Hold for 10 seconds, relax, and do as many reps as you can before tiring.

Sex exercise #3: Yoga
Want to shake up your sex life with some new positions? Practicing yoga will give you better sex by allowing your body to get into creative positions for maximum pleasure during intercourse. Yoga poses that improve pelvic muscles are the Bow Pose, Peacock Pose (also called the Forearm or Elbow Balance) and Shoulder Stand.

Sex exercise #4: Fast walking
In a study of 31,000 men over age 50, Harvard researchers found that aerobic exercise resulted in a 30 per cent lower risk of erectile dysfunction (ED). More specifically, according to another study, aerobic activity that burns at least 200 calories per day (equal to fast walking for two miles) can significantly lower the risk of ED. Brisk walking is thought to help ED by improving circulation and blood flow. Fast walking, running, and other aerobic activities keep your blood vessels clear. The result can be stronger and longer erections. Vigorous activities, such as running and brisk walking, also release endorphins and relax you, which can boost sexual performance.

Sex exercise #5: Swimming
In another Harvard study of 160 male and female swimmers, swimmers in their 60s reported sex lives comparable to those in their 40s. Since sexual activity can be an act of endurance, long-distance swimming can keep you going and going like the Energizer bunny. Swimming for at least 30 minutes three times a week will increase sexual endurance and also lead to weight loss, which can also lead to better sex. A randomized, single-blind study of 110 obese men with ED found that losing just 10 per cent of their body weight improved sexual function in one third of the men. And it’s no secret that losing excess body fat will help attain those six-pack abs and make you more attractive to potential partners. The result: better sex!

Try doing some (or all) of the above workouts to improve your sexual technique, endurance, and flexibility. Your lover will be impressed with your sexual powers and, as a side benefit, you’ll get healthier and fitter along the way.

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Obesity increases risk for HIV patients

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Obesity can increase risk among people with HIV, according to a new study.

The study has shown that antiretroviral therapy may not be as effective on obese HIV patients as it is with people of normal weight.

Researchers from the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences, who conducted the study, insisted that the immune systems among obese people with HIV do not respond as well as it does among normal weight people with HIV.

Nancy Crum-Cianflone, MD, who presented the study at the annual meeting of the Infectious Diseases Society of America, said: “Obese patients were found to regain fewer CD4-positive T cells after they start therapy than do people with normal weight,” said Dr. Crum-Cianflone.

“These findings don’t align with some of the earlier studies done prior to the advent of modern highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART), when patients who were obese did better than those of normal or below-normal weight.”

Data collected by the USU’s Infectious Disease Clinical Research Program (IDCRP) from participants in the US Military Natural History Study, was assessed as part of the study.

The data had details of 1,119 people, including documented dates of HIV seroconversion between 1986 and 2008.

Captain (Dr) Greg Martin, director of the IDCRP said: “The irony is that in the past we have been concerned that patients with HIV infection were losing too much weight.

“Yet this research is showing that there needs to be more of a focus on maintaining a balanced weight without going to the other extreme.”

Earlier studies had hinted that when HAART was unavailable, patients who were obese lost CD4 cells more slowly than people who had normal or below-normal weight.

Crum-Cianflone mentioned that the introduction of HAART has resulted in immune system recovery, which is measured by an increase in the number of CD4 cells.

She concluded that the study also "suggests that low CD4 counts may be another adverse consequence of obesity.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Sex Drive After Breast Feeding

. Wednesday, November 25, 2009
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Lactating mothers should understand that if they are disinterested in sex right while they are breast feeding, they are not abnormal Most women lose sex drive after breast feeding because a newborn baby is extremely demanding and all the women just want to rest after the baby has fed and gone to sleep.


Exhaustion plays a big role when it comes to sex drive and being a new mother. Only the mother can satisfy the baby's demand for milk, be it at three o'clock in the morning. Therefore, sex take a back seat and it is natural that the sex drive will reduce.

Breast feeding, changing the baby, rocking him to sleep, and attending to his cries leaves a woman totally exhausted and it is natural that she will not be receptive to her partner's advances. This is one aspect of sex drive after breast feeding. The other aspect is biological where women have no control over it.

Breast feeding suppresses ovulation. This is nature's way of stopping a new pregnancy from occurring too soon after the birth of a child. This means that estrogen circulating in a lactating woman's body is quite low and leads to vaginal dryness and reduced libido.

This said, not all women experience low sex drive after breast feeding. There are some who have no problems with their libido. Some women find the entire process of breast feeding very erotic and they can end up having increased sex drive, and of course the partner welcomes this! Breast feeding a baby allows a woman to appreciate her body like never before and this can have a positive effect on her sex drive.

Therefore, it is safe to conclude that each woman is different and her sex drive after breast feeding will vary from another breast feeding mother.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Lovers have love at top of Sydney’s clock tower

. Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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A young couple was caught having sex in full view of passers-by at the top of Sydney’s historic clock tower.
From pictures obtained, the couple could be seen naked as they engaged in sexual activities against the balcony underneath the giant clock across the road from Broadway Shopping Centre, near the University of Sydney.

They were in full view of the busy street below and seemed to be putting themselves deliberately on display, and soon there was a big crowd of onlookers ogling up at them.

The incident took place on November 20, and a bystander had taken the pictures from a bus stop across the road, where people were pointing and laughing at the twosome.

“A few other people had noticed as well and when I started taking photos everyone in the area started to look up and point, laugh, grin,” the Daily Telegraph quoted the witness as saying.

“From the looks of it, the couple did seem to know they could be seen and seemed complete unfazed,” the witness added.

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Lovers have sex at top of Sydney’s clock tower

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A young couple was caught having sex in full view of passers-by at the top of Sydney’s historic clock tower.
From pictures obtained, the couple could be seen naked as they engaged in sexual activities against the balcony underneath the giant clock across the road from Broadway Shopping Centre, near the University of Sydney.

They were in full view of the busy street below and seemed to be putting themselves deliberately on display, and soon there was a big crowd of onlookers ogling up at them.

The incident took place on November 20, and a bystander had taken the pictures from a bus stop across the road, where people were pointing and laughing at the twosome.

“A few other people had noticed as well and when I started taking photos everyone in the area started to look up and point, laugh, grin,” the Daily Telegraph quoted the witness as saying.

“From the looks of it, the couple did seem to know they could be seen and seemed complete unfazed,” the witness added.

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Make your first night memorable

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Most couples nurse nervous speculations and deep seated performance anxiety about their first night of closeness. Hearsay from newly wed friends or common beliefs picked up from random sources add to the sexual tension. Knowing the exact way to get it right is an arduous task and if gone wrong, you may end up facing a catastrophic situation in your bedroom with your first nuptial boo-boos.

We spoke to some couples to know the common blunders they made (inadvertently) on their first night. Of course, it wasn't just about 'sex' on the first night, as there were numerous other problems which could ruin the first night craze...

Boo-boo: A moment in haste and its all waste
Without much knowledge about sex, couples encountered awkward situations like premature ejaculation for men or women getting overtly apprehensive about vaginal pain and hymen bleeding. Fear is the biggest factor affecting performance on the first night.

Top Tip: Make the act more pleasurable
No person is a master sex performer, so indulge in a prolonged foreplay session to make your first night a tender bonding experience. Even if things go wrong, stay calm and try again after some time. Sometimes the wedding stress and the discomfort of an all new environment takes a mental toll. The body and mind may not be fully open for the experience of sexual discovery. Being patient is key.

Boo-boo: Experiments can wait
Agreed that it's your first time with your partner, but don't get overtly excited. Couples are all geared up to try new acts in bed, but first try and figure out your partner's comfort quotient.

Top Tip: Every night is a first night
Don't think that the first night is your 'one and only' chance to make love passionately, with time your bond will grow even more special with your better half. The first night is just the beginning of pleasures. Don't fret and waste it in performance anxiety!

Boo-boo: Look sexy in tradition
It's believed that a bride must remain in her wedding outfit and let the husband come and lift up the veil (‘ghoongat’). But modern day brides aren't too interested in donning the ostentatious outfit for too long and the minute they enter the bedroom; they prefer to undress into a sexy lingerie/night gown. Now, no matter how sensuous your night gown maybe, it doesn't have the same charm as a wedding ensemble. This fashion faux pas forms a lesser known, but common goof-up for brides.

Top Tip: Gifts Galore
As the husband lifts up the veil of the bride's wedding outfit, she's entitled to a surprise gift (for 'mooh dikhayee'). Rings, pendants, necklaces are passé; think of something out-of-the-blue, maybe a romantic honeymoon package, which she would be least expecting or a glamorous outfit, a transparent, hot dress, which you'd like her to get clad in just for your eyes.
Some might not agree here, but the following is a common occurrence. Your partner is not interested in too
much talking, especially on the first night. If you're the new bride, behave like one - blush a little to impart that 'just married' feel. Men should ideally stop narrating a long drawn thesis about their preferences. Being a chatterbox is no less than a slip-up!

Top Tip: Words say a lot more
Don't give each other marathon lessons on your likes and dislikes. Instead writing a romantic letter and keeping it tucked away under the pillow can be a sweet initiating gesture. Open up and talk about your secrets and hidden desires!

Boo-boo: Stop acting as strangers, you're married
We aren't saying shed all inhibitions and get going for a wild act in bed, but at least initiate the process of getting to know each other. Couples often refrain from talking to each other normally on the first night, presuming it's just meant for 'sex!'

Top Tip: Know each other
Start an interesting conversation to break the ice. Share moments you enjoyed on your wedding day and build the comfort level.

Boo-boo: Let the ambiance do the talking
The D-day tiredness is evidently there, but some couples, especially brides, tend to go overboard with the stress factor. This surely is a big turn-off for the other half, as he sees you either sleeping already or all prepared to slip between the sheets without any foreplay act. Just because you're tired!

Top Tip: Ambience unlimited
It's your first night, so your bed may as well resemble a full bloom garden in spring. Decorate it in a way that it sets the mood right for a romantic nighttime ahead. Create a heady ambience with aromatic oils, fragrant flowers, scented bed sheets and sensual music. It will heal your tired souls. Also try a relaxing foot massage to pamper each other. It will set the stage for the real act.

Boo-boo: Forget friends, it's your time to enjoy each other
As per tradition, the bride has to give her young in-laws a bribe to move out of the way before she enters the bedroom. Unfortunately, some in their new 'bahu' avatar tend to allow friends and relatives to come in and sit for hours to gossip, without even realising that the poor hubby is waiting to get spend some alone (private) moments. Grow up girls!

Top Tip: Twosome is the word
Friends and relatives are not going anywhere, stop indulging with them too much, especially on your first night. Concentrate on the man instead and make him feel special and not your in-laws.

The first night is special. Chase your future dreams rather than pining away for distant sexual goals.

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150 Things Every Man Should Know'

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A new book, entitled 150 Things Every Man Should Know, offers to help men through the minefield of being a male.

The tome by Gareth May hands out pointers about certain skills, which apparently all lads would find indispensable, such as the correct etiquette in a urinal, hiding a lovebite, or spotting artificial breasts.

British tabloid The Sun handpicked some favourites from the 14.99 pound book.

Hiding a love bite
1. Some swear by white toothpaste. Smear over the bite and leave.
2. Apply arnica cream or take arnica pills. Arnica speeds up healing and reduces bruises.
3. Wear a polo neck, scarf or cravat, or all three. Tell friends you're thinking of joining a bowling club if they're suspicious.
4. If desperate, reach for some concealer.

Going commando
1. Your package becomes more visible through only one layer of protection, so prepare for some smiles or smirks.
2. Take extra care when shaking at the urinal. The damp spot has led to many a man''s misery.
3. Avoid trousers with zips.
4. When wearing shorts don't lift your legs up.
5. Check your fly at regular intervals.

Urinal etiquette
1. Control the power of your pee. Backsplash is embarrassing enough on your own shirt, let alone your boss's.
2. Don't stand far back and experiment with your aim.
3. Remember: Sinks are for washing your hands and absolutely nothing else.
4. It is totally unacceptable to operate a Blackberry or mobile at a urinal, especially during conference calls.

How to tell if she's had a boob job
1. Size: If she looks like she's smuggling watermelons, they are probably fake... or she''s smuggling watermelons.
2. Shape: Boob jobs look hard and muscular. Real breasts look soft and curve out like a ski-slope.
3. Texture: Unless you were around in the blitz you might not know what a sandbag feels like. So think bag of sugar.

How to talk your way out of a fight
1. Sometimes offering to buy them a drink can defuse the situation, but don''t give them your credit card and tell them to set up a tab.
2. Don't be intimidated or show any sign or weakness.
3. Stand your ground with confidence if they square up to you. Don't shuffle, slouch or put your hands in your pockets.
4. Don't give into temptation, grab a pool cue and yell: "Let's be having you!".
5. Speak calmly and don't crack jokes.
6. If you've used all reasoning and he still wants a fight, chances are it's fisticuffs even if Gandhi and Nelson Mandela were doing the talking.

How to get over a girl
Do: Hit the pub with some mates.
Don't: Drink yourself into a stupor.
Do: Pack her belongings into a box and return them to her as soon as possible
Don't: Have sex with the ex. OK, just once if you have to.

How to turn a girl off you if you don't like her
1. Be elusive: Tell her you're busy all the time and never return calls, texts or emails.
2. Drop hints: Tell her you're in a relationship with someone else who struggles with your platonic female friends.
3. Disgust her: Wear really old, dirty clothes and don't clean your teeth for a week.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Desperate Housewives` affecting Longoria`s sex life!

. Monday, November 23, 2009
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Hollywood actress Eva Longoria Parker has revealed her show `Desperate Housewives` is affecting her sex life.

The actress admits she and husband Tony Parker can only get cosy on weekends because of her filming schedule in Hollywood and his commitments to his Texas-based basketball team the San Antonio Spurs, reports femalefirst.co.uk.

"I work three to four days per week. And then I fly to Texas to spend a long weekend with Tony. So we only have sex during the weekend," she said.

Despite her hectic life, the actress said she is happy being a wife and does anything she can to please Parker.

"I love being married. I`m part of something bigger and more important now. The marriage gives me so much more than my job. Tony and I feel incredibly connected. I love being a housewife. It`s great fun. I cook, clean and sew. I even wash Tony`s laundry," she said.

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8 secrets to super sex revealed!

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Forget Viagra, sex toys or master Kama Sutra-style sexual gymnastics, the key ingredients to a great sex are all in your mind, according to recent study.
Contrary to the pop culture notion that hot looks and masterful technique are what that matter, a recent research in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that the real essentials are emotional connection between partners, communication and focus.

The study, conducted on namely married couples over the age 60, also found that the best sex comes with relationships as they become more mature, reports Fox News.

The key ingredients to rock star sex are:

1. Being present, focused and embodied

More than any other factor is the need for lovers to be completely absorbed in the moment, feeling completely merged in one another.

2. Connection, alignment and being in sync

The depth of connection is critical to the experience, with lovers becoming one and synchronous as their energies align.

3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy

With intimacy the foundation of the relationship, the components of intimacy lend themselves to optimal sex. These include caring, deep mutual respect, admiration, and true acceptance of one another.

4. Extraordinary communication and heightened empathy

Lovers realizing optimal sex are able to read their partner’s bodily responses, truly feeling them. They also listen in both verbal and non-verbal ways, picking up on little things and being sensitive in every way.

5. Authenticity, being genuine and uninhibited, transparency

Participants reported the ability to become emotionally naked, share freely, and feel unselfconscious with their lover as critical to having better sex.

6. Vulnerability and surrender

Lovers have a willingness to expose themselves, to truly be seen. In putting themselves in another’s hands, they relinquish themselves, ultimately penetrating each other’s souls.

7. Bliss, transformation and healing

Optimal sex is an exalted, soulful, timeless state of awe and ecstasy.

8. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking and fun

Sex is an adventure, with lovers becoming explorers as lovemaking becomes one of discovery. Such is complemented by unleashing one’s sense of humour and laughter.

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Tips for Married Women – How to Romance Your Husband

. Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Ladies, many of you probably think you’re the romantic in your marriage. Your husband, frankly, is clueless when it comes to romance. You have to practically beg him to say “I love you". You grab his hand when you walk together (and he keeps pulling it away). You can barely get him to remember your anniversary, and when he does remember and brings you a gift, more often than not it came from the head, not from the heart. After all, men think logically, women think emotionally. There’s no doubt that women rule when it comes to romance. Right?
You might be surprised to find out you’re wrong. In her book “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You", author Leil Lowndes reveals that women are better at romance (with a small “r") than men when it comes to the little things, like holding hands and remembering important dates. But men are the clear winners when it comes to Romance (with a capital “R"). They initiate serious relationships more frequently than women do; they are more idealistic about love; they’re more adversely affected by breakups, and more willing to work out problems in the relationship; and they rate their spouses/lovers higher in their social pecking order.

What does this mean for you, ladies? It means your husband is aware of what romance is – and he needs romance just as much as you do! But remember, romance for you means doing the little things. Romance for your husband is viewed on a much larger canvas. You need to work in his world, give him Romance (note that capital “R" again) in a way he’ll understand. That doesn’t always mean purely physical, so you can breathe a little easier (and please, put away the big satin ribbon and stiletto heels). Here are some ways you can show your significant other that you know how to romance him in ways he’ll understand and appreciate!

Reassure Him You’re There for the Long Haul If your husband’s being a bit of a jerk because he’s having a rough day (week, month, year), it’s a good time to let him know you’re there for him. Maybe you need to fix his favorite dinner, offer to rub his back, or run a hot tub for him (yes, guys do like baths once in awhile). He may be a bit taken aback by the attention. If he asks why you’re going to all the trouble, you can tell him the truth: “I love you no matter what, and I just wanted you to know that." You reinforce to him that you love him for who he is, not what he does. You emphasize that this area of his life is stable and secure, even if others aren’t. And you keep it simple. Guys don’t always need to know the details; the bottom line usually will suffice. For his part, it can help relieve a lot of pressure and make him a bit easier to live with.

Treat Him to Something He Really Likes You love going shopping at the mall; he’d rather spend his time at the computer warehouse or the sporting goods superstore. There’s nothing you enjoy more than lunch at your favorite tea shoppe ; his idea of a great meal is heading over to the all-you-can-eat steak buffet restaurant. Your idea of a good movie is something you can laugh and cry at; he’d rather see a shoot-‘ em -up action flick. Break down, ladies. Do something he wants to do for a change. It doesn’t have to be a daily thing, but it should be a regular occurrence. So what if you don’t really care for go- karting ? Would you have gone with him before you got married? I’ll bet you would have. Letting him call the shots when it comes to entertainment for the two of you shows him you think his likes and interests are important. And I’ll bet the next time you want to go somewhere you like, he won’t be as quick to complain…!

Offer Him Time Off He works a full-time job. He helps around the house with the cooking and cleaning and laundry and…okay, so he picks up after himself more often than not. He does have that infamous “honey-do" list to work on, though. And his evenings and weekends are booked up with all of your social activities. So how do you romance a guy who’s constantly on the go? Simple…you give him some time off. Give him the freedom to enjoy that Saturday morning round of golf with his buddies, or go see his favorite ball team play a couple of times a month during the season. Don’t be surprised if this one backfires on you, though – when he tells you to take off with your friends for the afternoon while he watches the kids – and tells you to pick up that nice new dress you’ve been eyeing for awhile.

Have That Intimate Talk – and Listen Your macho-acting, sports-loving, bear of a man husband doesn’t mind talking to you about a variety of topics. Amazingly, he really can open up to you about your relationship. You just have to let him do it on his terms. That does NOT mean sitting down next to him during the football game and asking “Honey, how do you feel about our marriage?" You’re likely to get a grunted, “ It’s fine," and then he’ll be engrossed in the game again. If you need to talk, wait until his task-oriented mind isn’t involved in a major task. Initiate the conversation if you have to, but pay attention to the verbal clues he gives you that indicate he wants to talk. And then…listen. Don’t criticize, don’t compliment, don’t even comment. Let him do the talking. You’d be surprised at just how much information he is willing to share with you when he doesn’t feel that he’s being threatened or manipulated.

Gender Translation Some of you ladies are looking at this list and thinking, “Good grief! This looks like my husband’s birthday wish list! What’s so romantic about any of this stuff? I can’t do this! It’s too hard!" The fact is your husband considers this stuff romantic. It doesn’t make any difference that you don’t, because he thinks using a different algorithm than you do. As for the difficulty issue, do you think it’s easy for guys to do the hand-holding, maintain intimate small talk, and the like? Some of them really struggle with meeting their wives’ needs! So buck up and (dare I say it?) stop thinking like a female! Your husband WILL appreciate these things!

Then there will be the few who will claim that all of these actions and attitudes seem a little, oh, I don’t know…sexist, perhaps? I have to respond by asking this: Is it sexist for a man to show his wife that he cares for her, by working his job and providing for his family, by fixing things around the house, by showing her in the little ways that he loves her? If not, then neither is it sexist for a woman to show her husband she cares for him in the ways mentioned above. It’s a matter of meeting the other person’s needs in a way he (and she!) can understand. If that’s sexist, then I guess we’d all better be guilty if we want to maintain the kind of relationship that lasts a lifetime. And is it worth it?

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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sex selection just a mouse click away

. Saturday, November 21, 2009
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Select your baby’s gender at will in 3 simple steps with 94% accuracy”: that’s not a furtive sign at a shady clinic but what you get when you type ‘gender selection clinics’ on the Yahoo search engine.

Popular Internet portals Google and Yahoo are breaking Indian laws by carrying ads of sex selection clinics.

India’s Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PNDT) Act, 2002 bans the use of technology (ultrasounds and sonograms) for and advertising of sex selection that lead to foeticide (sex-selective abortion).

According to the United Nations Population Fund, the natural sex ratio at birth is 940-950 girls per 1,000 boys. Easy access to diagnostic technology has led to India’s sex ratio falling from 945 in 1991 to 927 in 2001.

“Indian law bans advertisements and sponsored links related to sex selection facilities on any web page that can be accessed in India. It does not matter where the server or the clinic being advertised is. If an ad can be seen by opening a web page in India, it is banned,” said Supreme Court lawyer A. Shenoy.

Representatives of portals, however, say the Act only bans the advertisement of such facilities in India. Since there is no ban on writing about them, search results can’t be monitored as it may block educational and academic content.

Google advertising policy states “advertising is not permitted for the promotion of pre-natal gender determination or pre-conception sex selection when targeting ads to India”. But its search portal carries ads of clinics in other countries.

“In India, we don’t allow ads for the promotion of pre-natal gender determination or preconception sex selection,” a Google India statement said.

“Yahoo! operates a global business and abides by relevant local laws and regulations,” its official spokesperson said.

“These portals break the law in India and get paid for it,” said Sabu George, an activist for the girl child.

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Lubricants in sex can give higher ratings of pleasure

. Friday, November 20, 2009
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Lubricant use during sexual activity alone or with a partner contributes to higher ratings of pleasurable and satisfying sex, a new study has revealed.

Personal lubricants have long been recommended to women to improve the comfort of sexual intercourse and to reduce the risk of vaginal tearing, yet strikingly little available data is available on women''s use of lubricants or associated vaginal symptoms.

The study, conducted by Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at IU''s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation, involved women who used one of six different water- or silicone-based lubricants.

The study involving 2,453 women ages 18 to 68 also found that side effects were rarely associated with lubricant use; vaginal tearing occurred during less than 1 percent of vaginal intercourse events and genital pain was reported in less than 5 percent of intercourse acts when lubricant was used.

The study is being presented at the APHA conference.

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Terrific toilet training

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Nanku Ram’s nine-year old son Digham rarely misses school because of illness. And Uttara Bai's family has been free of chronic diarrhoea for a year, which is no rare feat for Purkela, a village of around 2000 people that boasted of just a handful of toilets three years ago.

They are not alone.

Lundra Block Medical Officer Dr Durga Prasad Shandilya told Hindustan Times that the water-borne and skin disease cases have halved in the tribal Sarguja district of Chhattisgarh.

UNICEF got independent research body Synovate to track disease prevalence in Lundra as part of a study. Synovate findings were no different from the health department data: there is a 50 per cent reduction in cases of dysentery, diarrhoea, malaria and skin diseases in Sarguja district. The reason: Tribals in Purkela village in Lundra block, about 400 km from Raipur, have adopted hygienic practices with a vengeance. For the first time ever, villagers such as Nanku and Uttara own a house with its very own toilet, which is no mean achievement in India where 60 per cent homes do not have a toilet.

Owning a house with a toilet has become a status symbol with many carrying boards at the door that read ‘Shauchalaya yukt makaan’(A house with a toilet).

This is the result of a unique programme called Total Sanitation Campaign (TSC), which is run in partnership between different government departments such as education, panchayat, tribal welfare and women and child development. Apart from the emphasis on personal hygiene, the programme helps villagers maintain household hygiene, cleanliness near drinking water sources like hand-pumps or tube-wells, and manage waste.

The roads leading to villages of Purkela, Mahora or Jarhadih in Lundra block of Sarguja have been turned defecation-free zones, with village panchayats constituting a Toka-Taki Samiti (Intercepting Committee) to reprimand and then fine those who break the rules.

H for hygiene and health

Shritika Nagesh (28), who had lost her ten-month-old daughter to dysentery in 2005, had become a nervous wreck worrying about her six-year-old daughter Prabha's frequent illnesses. “Since we installed a toilet and I started insisting on frequent hand washing, Prabha has transformed from a sickly to a healthy girl. She now rarely misses school,” said the Jarhadih housewife.

Better health also transforms into higher literacy, especially among girls. “Ever since the school got separate toilets for boys and girls, the girls, whose parents were earlier hesitant to send them to schools, are regularly attending classes,” said Bodham Ram, school headmaster at Jarhadih village.

Hygiene has been made part of the school curriculum. Students are taught personal grooming and asked to regularly cut their nails, groom their hair, wash their hands, maintain dental hygiene and wear clean clothes.

“Students are given a hygiene education kit and evaluated each day on a ten-point on their appearance,” said Sodhuram, Jarhadih village panchayat secretary. “My teachers say personal grooming will reduce the threat of illness, said Pushpi (11). Agrees Mikhu (9), a Class 3 student of middle school in Mahora village, a Nirmal Gram Puraskar recipient: “Personal hygiene has become a part of my life and I cannot imagine myself unclean.”

“Installing toilets in schools and hygiene education have been instrumental in persuading parents to follow healthy sanitary practices at home,” said Baisram Dhakad, district programme coordinator in TSC.

“With water being provided through forced lift hand pumps, even anganwadi centres (child care centres) have come up with baby-friendly sanitation units. There, sharp fall in infections among children has pushed up attendance at schools,” Lundra's education officer D.K. Gupta told HT.

How it started

Getting villagers used to defecating in the country clean up their act wasn’t easy. “The initial resistance to the sanitation campaign was overcome once we convinced them about the benefits,” S.P. Singh, a campaign manager in Ambikapur, told HT. Incidents of villagers being bitten by snakes, poisonous insects or attacked by bears or elephants while defecating helped in convincing them, as did public messages through song and film shows.

Even elected representatives are now tying to get votes on the cleanliness bandwagon. “Impressed with diseases brought under control and behavioural change of people, the elected representatives have begun reaching out to officials seeking inclusion of their blocks for executing sanitation programme,” said Bhim Singh of public health engineering department in Sarguja.

So successful is the campaign that 40 gram panchayats in Lundra won the President’s Nirmal Gram Puraskar for 2008, and 22 have been selected for the award this year.”

“Now there is competition among rural panchayats to ensure their villages is the cleanest,” said Lundra MLA Ramdev Ram.

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Green at heart? Avoid beef: Jairam

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Stop eating beef to save the world, Union Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh suggested on Thursday.

A vegetarian himself, Ramesh offered a pat on the back for non-beef eaters, saying they help in “climate mitigation”.

“The single-most important cause of [carbon] emissions is eating beef,” Ramesh said. “My formula is stop eating beef. This would stop the emission of [large amounts of] methane.”

While Ramesh quoted a number of studies — and global climate change expert R.K. Pachauri — to support his view, the issue has been debated for years.

Last year, a UN Food and Agriculture Organisation study found that meat production accounts for nearly a fifth of all greenhouse gas emissions — emissions that are causing temperatures to rise, causing erratic rainfall, higher sea levels and stronger storm events.

On the flip side, many scientists argue that meat-eating is good for the environment because it eliminates animals whose manure emits methane, a greenhouse gas 23 times more potent in the global warming scenario than carbon dioxide.

Ramesh’s comments throw the ball back in the court of the developed world a fortnight ahead of the climate change negotiations in Copenhagen.

Per capita consumption of meat in the developed world is 70 to 80 times that in India, where the majority shuns beef and pork for religious reasons.

Ramesh, who was speaking at the launch of a UN report on world populations, ended his speech with a reminder that 600 million Indians are potential climate change victims, making it the biggest domestic threat facing the country

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Six women in the Forbes India rich list

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As many as six women, including OP Jindal group chairperson Savitri Jindal and Biocon's Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, have made it to the Forbes' list of 100 richest Indians this year.

Jindal has retained the tag of being the richest lady in India with a net worth of $12 billion, according to the annual India Rich List compiled by business magazine Forbes. Jindal is ranked seventh in the list, which is topped by RIL's Mukesh Ambani with a fortune of $32 billion.

Jindal, who has been the chairperson of the O P Jindal Group since her husband Om Prakash's death in 2005, saw her wealth growing by $9 billion since November 2008, when Forbes had last published its annual India rich list.

Jindal is followed by Bennett, Coleman & Co's Chairperson Indu Jain, who is ranked 19th with a net worth of $2.4 billion. Jain continued to witness a spurt in her fortune with wealth kitty rising by $600 million since November 2008.

Anu Aga of Thermax group and Biocon's Shaw has been ranked 55th and 73rd with a net worth of $935 million and 730 million respectively.

Referring to Shaw as "pharma tycoon", Forbes said, "India's richest self-made woman, whose Biocon is developing the world's first oral insulin."

Besides, Shobhana Bhartia of the Hindustan Times and Vidya Murkumbi of Shree Renuka Sugars have also also made it to the Forbes list this year.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Flash 40 pc of your skin to allure men!

. Thursday, November 19, 2009
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Women should wear clothes that bare 40 per cent of their bodies in a bid to allure men, say experts.

Keeping the right balance between revealing too much and being too conservative has long been a dilemma for women while choosing the right clothes.

A research team from University of Leeds observed women at one of the city's biggest nightclubs from a balcony above the dance floor.

Using tape recorders hidden in their handbags, they took note of what female clubbers wore. Each arm accounted for 10 per cent of the body, each leg for 15 per cent and the torso for 50 per cent.

They also calculated how many times these women were approached by men asking them to dance.

The study found that women who showed off around 40 per cent of their skin attracted twice as many men as those who covered up.

In contrast, too much skin show turned men off as it suggests they might be unfaithful.

"Any more than 40 per cent and the signal changes from 'allure' to one indicating general availability and future infidelity," the Telegraph quoted lead researcher and psychologist Dr Colin Hendrie, as telling the Daily Mail.

"Show some leg, show some arm, but not any more than that," Hendrie added.

The most popular women combined the 40 per cent rule with tight clothing and provocative dancing. The 15 per cent that combined all three criteria were approached by 40 men each.

The study appears in journal Behaviour.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Depression is as deadly as smoking: Study

. Wednesday, November 18, 2009
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Based on a series of tests, European scientists now believe that depression can increase mortality rates as much as smoking.

According to a study by researchers at the King's College in London, and the University of Bergen in Norway, depression is as deadly as smoking.

"Patients with depression face an overall increased risk of mortality, while a combination of depression and anxiety lowers the mortality risk compared with depression alone," lead author Dr Robert Stewart said.

He said, "The possible reasons that may underlie these surprising findings is that Unlike smoking, we don't know how causal the association with depression is but it does suggest that more attention should be paid to this link because the association persisted after adjusting for many other factors".

Utilising a unique link between a survey of over 60,000 people and a comprehensive mortality database, the researchers found that over the four years following the survey, the mortality risk was increased to a similar extent in people who were depressed as in people who were smokers, The British Journal of Psychiatry said.

"One of the main messages from this research is that 'a little anxiety may be good for you," Stewart said.

In light of the findings, Dr Stewart makes suggestions on the focus of future developments in the treatment of depression and anxiety: "The physical health of people with current or previous mental disorder needs a lot more attention than it gets at the moment".

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Now, a chocolate that helps you lose weight!

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Want to shed flab? Well, you can now gorge on a special chocolate to lose weight, provided you don't mind its green tinge.

Sounds strange, but scientists have produced a new kind of chocolate, called Lola, which contains chemicals that trick one's brain into believing that one is not hungry and stops one from over -eating, the 'Daily Mail' reported.

However, the scientists from Spanish manufacturer Cocoa Bio claim that though the chocolate tastes just like regular bars, they have a slight green tinge because of the unusual extra ingredients.

"People should eat one or two chocolates around one hour before a meal. They'll feel pleasantly full and less like eating to excess. The chocolate has an intense flavour and extremely high antioxidant properties," lead scientist Armando Yanez, was quoted as saying.

He said the green tinge is because the chocolate contains the dietary supplement spirulina, a microscopic algae with a high level of nutrients such as vitamin A and B12, which also have weight loss benefits.

The scientists also claim that amino acids in the recipe stimulate the production of a hormone in the brain which suppresses the appetite.

The chocolates, priced about 5 pounds for a box of five will initially be sold only in Spain, but may come to Britain if there is enough interest.

It is not the first time that the potential health benefits from regularly eating chocolate, especially dark chocolate, have been identified.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Flash 40 pc of flesh to woo a man: Study

. Tuesday, November 17, 2009
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Can't make out how much to bare on a night out? Well, ladies, flash just 40 percent of your flesh to woo Mr Right, says a new study.

Researchers at Leeds University have carried out the study and found that women should wear an outfit which reveals 40 percent of her skin -- this provides just the right amount of attention.

For their study, the researchers sent four female colleagues to one of the city's biggest nightclubs. There, they stood on a balcony overlooking the dancefloor, and noted what the female clubbers were wearing and how many times they were approached by men.

All their observations were taped on dictaphones hidden in handbags. Seventy hours of recordings revealed that a man was much more likely to ask a woman to dance than vice versa, the 'Daily Mail' reported.

Specifically, women who showed off around 40 percent of their skin were approached by twice as many men as those who were more covered up, the study revealed.

"Any more than 40 per cent and the signal changes from 'allure' to one indicating general availability and future infidelity. Show some leg, show some arm, but not any more than that," lead researcher Colin Hendrie said.

However, some suitors fared better than others. Hendrie said: "The male couldn't be too thin and he couldn't be too fat. Most particularly, he couldn't be too tall and he couldn't be too short. He must be more than a head taller than the female and certainly not shorter than her."

At least some of the men passed the height test, with the researchers noting that 30 per cent of people leaving did so as part of a couple, compared with 20 per cent of those arriving.

The study has been published in the 'Behaviour' journal.

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Men are quicker at confessing love

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Men are quicker to say 'I love you' to their partners than women, says a new study.

According to the dating survey, which was conducted for a magazine, men take an average of seven months to tell a new partner that they love them, however, when it comes to women, they take almost eight months, reports The Telegraph.

The study also found that when it comes to dating, the over 55s are the most active – and experimental – of all age groups.

To reach the conclusion, the magazine commissioned YouGov to interview almost 2,000 men and women of all ages and backgrounds who have been on a date in the past year.

Jenni Trent Hughes, a relationship counsellor, said: "Although women do tend to wear their heart on their sleeves more than men do, men are just as emotional and sensitive – sometimes even more so."

Oliver James, the clinical psychologist and author, said the findings supported other studies that showed that men fall in love more frequently than women. "This is because women mature sooner than men and develop to be more hard-nosed, realistic and in touch with their emotions," he added.

He added: "So when a man says 'I love you' it might be his way of dealing with a lot of complex, difficult emotions that he doesn't really understand, whereas when a woman says it, it might carry a greater weight. The classic cliché is that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love."

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Women in 40s prowling for toyboys

. Monday, November 16, 2009
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A new poll has found that one in three women aged over 40 years in Britain seek young lovers.

Online dating service Parship questioned 4,500 Brit singles, including women in the age group of 40s and 50s, a.k.a 'Cougars'.

It was found that a lot of these women showed interest in dating men who were younger to them by at least five years.

The poll further suggested that the women were looking for lovers not just for sex but marriage as well.

"Dating a much younger man has now become mainstream and acceptable," the Daily Star quoted dating expert Dr Victoria Lukats as saying.

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Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mouth can indicate body’s overall health

. Sunday, November 15, 2009
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The mouth or oral cavity area is an excellent indicator of the whole body’s health, says a University of Maryland Dental School professor.

Professor Li Mao insists surface tissues inside the cheek could be checked to detect tobacco-induced damage in the lungs.

This could prove to be an important advancement in designing future lung cancer prevention trials.

“We hypothesized that tobacco-induced molecular alterations in the oral epithelium are similar to those in the lungs,” said Mao.

The expert added: “This might have broader implications for using the mouth as a diagnostic indicator for general health.”

“I feel that dentists should play a major role in prevention of cancer and Dr Mao is the leading oral cancer researcher in the country. He crosses the bridge between medicine and dentistry,” said University of Maryland Dental School Dean Christian S Stohler, DMD, DrMedDent, a leader in the movement to retool dental education.

“Being a physician helps expand dental health care and he wants to change how patients are being treated because his background is in head and neck cancer,” Stohler added.

The study is published in the journal Cancer Prevention Research.

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Smoking ban leads to drop in heart attacks: Study

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Smoking ban has resulted in a 27 percent decrease in heart attacks in the city of Starkville in United States, reveals a new study.

Researchers, led by Robert McMillen and Dr Robert Collins, have also recommended a state-wide public ban on smoking.

The study — that focussed on Starkville residents in the three-year span after the ban became law, compared to three years prior — showed fewer heart attacks being treated at the Oktibbeha County Hospital.

The findings are part of a larger SSRC evaluation of Mississippi communities that passed smoking bans in recent years. McMillen said the data shows Starkville benefitting medically from the smoking ban.

"The emerging scientific consensus clearly demonstrates that communities like Starkville can reduce heart attacks simply by prohibiting smoking in indoor public places. Smoke-free laws are popular with the public and are free to implement," said McMillen.

The MSU investigation mirrors findings of a federally commissioned panel of scientists recently made public.

Commissioned by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, that report by the independent and non-profit Institute of Medicine examined information from 11 studies of communities in Canada, Italy, Scotland, and the United States.

The CDC/IM concluded that bans on smoking in public places reduces cases of heart attacks and heart disease.

"Our research substantiates that report from the Institute of Medicine," McMillen said.

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Are you an authoritative parent?

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Trying to have too much control over your children’s lives may not be a good idea, for they tend to take it negatively, says a new study.

The study, conducted in the United States by researchers at Orebro University in Sweden, looked at how adolescents view and react to parental control.

Parental control falls into two categories: behavioural control (when parents help their children regulate themselves and feel competent by providing supervision, setting limits, and establishing rules) and psychological control (when parents are manipulative in their behaviour, often resulting in feelings of guilt, rejection, or not being loved). It's thought that behavioural control is better for youngsters' development. However, when parents are very controlling, young people no longer make this distinction and view both types of parental control negatively.

The study, which asked 67 American children (7th and 8th graders, as well as 10th and 11th graders) to respond to hypothetical scenarios involving both kinds of control, found that the youths put a negative spin on both types of control when the parents in the scenarios exercised a lot of control.

Specifically, when parents showed moderate levels of control, they saw psychological control more negatively than behavioural control, but when parents were very controlling, they viewed both types of control negatively. Specifically, the youths interpreted high levels of control as intrusive and as indicating that they mattered less as individuals.

Intrusiveness is a hallmark of psychological control, according to the researchers, and both high levels of psychological control and feeling that you don't matter have been linked to poorer adjustment.

"Under some conditions, such as when personal choice is restricted, adolescents view behavioural control as negatively as psychological control. Such negative interpretations may mean that adolescents would respond as poorly to highly restrictive behavioral control as they do to psychological control," the authors said.

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Saturday, November 14, 2009

New bra boosts breasts' size in seconds!

. Saturday, November 14, 2009
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The firm’s latest invention could see boob job clinics going bust, for it is pain-free and costs 24 pounds.

The revolutionary bra can be worn for work and then boosted for a night on the town by adding silicone pouches - made from the same material used in breast implants.

These push the boobs together and up, for a natural-look cleavage. "The effect of this bra is both visible and dramatic without the drastic measures of surgery, proving you don’t have to spend 35,000 pounds on new boobs like Amy Winehouse," the Sun quoted Ultimo boss Michelle Mone as saying.

Model Tal Berkovich, 24, tested the new bra and said: "I love my boobs in this bra and I would definitely wear it on a night out. It’s actually really comfortable as well.”

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Gurgaon boy doodles his way to Google

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For once, Puru Pratap Singh’s (9) folks will allow him to surf the Net late at night. In fact, his whole family will be up till midnight
http://www.hindustantimes.com//Images/edstoryImg/131109/doodle.jpg
Puru Pratap Singh, a Class 4 student from Gurgaon, won the Doodle for Google competition. Singh’s doodle was chosen from 4,000 entries across India. Log on to Google and you will see the logo
Friday, to see his artwork displayed as an icon on the homepage of Google India.

Singh, a Class IV student of Amity International, Saket, won the GoogleDoodle contest in India, edging out 4,000 others. His will be the search engine’s first “made in India” doodle.

But having won the contest, and a laptop in prize, Singh has other plans for the future: “I want to be a scientist, not an artist as they aren’t very well paid.”

The Gurgaon boy had a little help. His art teacher mother, Arti Singh, pitched in with the artwork while his father, N.P. Singh, helped him think up the concept, ‘My India full of life’.

“The first ‘G’ is in the shape of a peacock; ‘O’ represents the wisdom of our country; the other ‘O’ shows the discovery of water on the moon by India, ‘G’ revolves around Kashmir; ‘L’ is designed as the rifle at Amar Jawan Jyoti at India Gate; and ‘E’ depicts Mahatma Gandhi,” said Singh.

To see Singh’s doodle, a Google India spokesman said, all you have to do is log on to www.google.co.in.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Mastectomy patients may regrow breasts

. Friday, November 13, 2009
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Australian scientists have developed a surgical technique that may allow cancer-suffering women to regrow breasts after having a mastectomy, with human trials planned to start within three to six months.

The procedure involves inserting a breast-shaped chamber, containing a sample of the woman’s fat tissue, under the chest skin. A blood vessel is then connected to the fat tissue allowing it to grow to fill the chamber within six to eight months.

The Melbourne-based Bernard O'Brien Institute of Microsurgery, which pioneered the procedure, said on Thursday that it hopes to develop a biodegradable chamber within 24 months, which would mean the chamber would dissolve once filled.

“We are starting what is called a prototype trial in the next three to six months — a proof of principle trial with about five to six women just to demonstrate that the body can regrow its own fat supply in the breast,” Dr Phillip Marzella, the institute's chief operating officer, told local radio.

He said the procedure relies on the body's own behaviour of filling internal voids, but a gel-like substance can also be injected to stimulate fat growth.

The women in the trial have had a mastectomy or partial mastectomy, but there remains a defect or asymmetry issue with their breasts. The trial will not seek to grow a whole breast, but grow fat in the defected area to prove the procedure is viable, said an Institute report on the procedure.

The regenerative procedure could be used to help restore other damaged body parts, he said.

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sex games and good sense

. Thursday, November 12, 2009
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We talk about "sex games" and it sounds so jolly, but arguments about just what sexual behaviour is and isn't OK cast a big cloud over some couples' lives together, as reported The Sun.

In general, I would say that no form of sharing physical pleasure and satisfaction is wrong between a loving couple, as long as you are both joining in willingly and with genuine enjoyment, and as long as neither of you is being hurt, either physically or emotionally, says The Sun.

In other words, if all that is holding you back from enjoying oral sex is that your mother said it was disgusting, the fact is it's none of her business how you run your adult life. You can make your own decisions now.

However, it's rarely that simple. All of us have different lines we instinctively draw. What one of us finds erotic, another finds degrading. What one thinks of as stimulating and exciting, another rejects as pornographic and disgusting.

It helps enormously when trying to sort out this sort of issue as a couple, not to start taking moral standpoints and judging one another, but to see it as a practical problem you need to negotiate your way around.

First work out whether there are real grounds for ruling some things out - such as that they might hurt one of you or you would find it degrading. Be firm that you will not consider anything you feel deep inside yourself isn't for you.

Don't fall into the trap of trying to justify any objection. If you start trying to say it's wrong or dirty, then your partner will just attack every point you come up with.

What actually matters here is that you don't want to do it.

If you try only under pressure, then it's not a game, is it? It cannot be fun or pleasurable for you.

However, be willing at least to try sex games which are actually harmless but which you have been rejecting as embarrassing or too naughty.

If the rest of your relationship is strong then you may surprise yourself and find you are wonderfully turned on by the very thing you never dared try.

At the least, even if you don't enjoy everything you try, you may find you and your partner can enjoy enough variation to take the heat out of the conflict.

But let me emphasise again, all I have said so far applies to a couple who share a lasting and loving relationship.

If yours is a new or unhappy relationship then you could get seriously hurt or worse if you trust your partner too far.

Until you know someone well enough, you should follow the rules for safer sex - I can send you details if you're unsure - and not be out of range of calling for help until you are truly confident you can trust them with your safety.

Any partner who really cares for you will understand your caution.

Certainly, you should not agree to any games which include you being tied up, bound or gagged in any way, blindfolded or having anything put over your head unless you are with a partner in a really long-term relationship who you have no doubts cares for you deeply.

Couples who are committed to one another and do both enjoy that sort of sex play should still for safety agree a signal that shows when you've had enough and want to stop.

Serious conflicts about sex games usually come down to a problem in the relationship generally.

If you are with a partner who really loves you, they aren't going to want to upset you by pressing for out-of-the ordinary sex games that you find distasteful or worrying.

If this is causing a great deal of conflict between you, it's well worth making an appointment to see a counsellor - such as from Relate - to find out what is really at issue and how it can be resolved (0300 100 1234, www.relate.org.uk).

Don't worry that they will be shocked. Relate have special sex therapists and even their ordinary counsellors are specially trained and pretty unshockable.

Sometimes for example, men are excited by an idea and keep pressuring their partner to try something she doesn't fancy.

Because they are a little insecure, either sexually or emotionally, if she objects they set it up as almost a test of their love. "If you love me, you'll do this for me?" they say.

The reality is often that, if they do it, they will both be left feeling rather shocked and degraded by the experience.

This is especially true of sex games involving threesomes and foursomes, which are best avoided by any couple who aren't both sure it's totally right for them.

People can also be particularly attracted to sex games if they find their usual pattern of love-making disappointing.

Most couples need sometimes to vary their love-making patterns to stop it all just seeming too routine but, if you find you are going down the path of seeking out more and more sex games in order to experience any real pleasure and satisfaction, then chances are the real problem is that you don't actually open your inner self up to experience the full rich potential of making love in even quite ordinary ways.

You have a fear of real intimacy which holds you back from experiencing true passion.

This is something well worth exploring with a counsellor because it can transform your life.

The real problem may well be that you were hurt at an earlier stage in your life, probably as a child, so you keep up the barriers, even against those you love.

I hope this has helped you. If you have particular worries, do write to me and I will do my best to help.

You might like my free leaflets on Threesomes or Swinging and Swapping.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Premarital sex common among youth

. Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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A survey on youth in India has now come up with the startling revelation that a sizeable number of young men and women in Bihar are engaging in sex before marriage. The worry is that most persons indulging in pre-marital sex are uninformed of the risks.

Condom use is almost non-existent and engaging in such activity with multiple partners is also not uncommon, a population study centre said in its report.

The report issued by the International Institute for Population Sciences and Population Council warns that policies and programmes can no longer assume that pre-marital sex does not exist in our culture, rather they must ensure that sexual relations, should they occur, are informed, safe and wanted. Several steps are urgently needed to ensure that.

The findings, which accessed 8,136 respondents suggest that 20 percent of young men and 12 percent of young women were approached by or they themselves approached a person of the opposite sex to form a romantic liaison.

Moreover, 17 percentof young men and 5 percent of women acknowledged romantic partnership before marriage. This was despite norms prohibiting pre-marital mingling with the opposite sex. Interestingly, while parents mostly did not report knowledge of such liaisons, almost four out of five (78 percent) young men and women reported that their peers were aware of the relationships. However 23 percent young men and 37 percent women reported that their parents were aware of the relationships.

The data suggests that sexual indulgence included physical intimacy, including kissing, touching and engaging in sex.. However, consistently fewer respondents reported more intimate behaviours, including sex.

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Low carb diet may land you in depression

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A very low carbohydrate diet, seen as a sure shot way to shed weight, may not be good for your mental health, warn researchers.

An Australian study published in prestigious medical journal, Archives of Internal Medicine, a journal of America Medical Association, shows that compared to low fat diets the very low carbohydrate diets can cause depression, anxiety and mood swings in the patients. The study says that very low carbohydrate diet takes away all the joys of weight loss.

The researchers from University of South Australia and Flinders and University Adelaide, Australia, studied about 106 overweight and obese individuals who were either given a low carbohydrate or a low fat diet for about a year. The people were allowed to consume only 1433-1672 kcal. The researchers observed the changes in body weight, psychological mood and well being.

It was observed that both diets achieved a similar reduction in body weight of approximately 14 kg. Compared with the low carb diet, the low fat diet had greater improvements in psychological mood state. Both diets had similar effects on cognitive functioning (working memory and speed of processing information).

"These findings suggest that although dietary macronutrient composition may have little influence on long-term weight loss, some aspects of the low carb diet may have detrimental effects on mood that may negate any positive mood effects following weight loss," the researchers wrote.

Renowned clinical nutritionist and Director of health food chain in Delhi, Whole Foods, Ishi Kosla says carbohydrates are important for brain and taking them out of food completely can cause depression.

"Lot of neurotransmitters are carbohydrate dependant and taking carbs out of food can not only cause depression but also manifest in things like lack of stamina. Brain requires a minimum of 100 gm of carbs daily and some crash diets like atkins and others reduce carbs to less than 30 to 40 grams per day which has bad impact on the brain," she said.

Even the psychiatrists agree. "We see a lot of such cases were eliminating or giving less carbs than what the body requires is causing severe reaction in people and the reactions manifest more in the physical functions like in chronic fatigue syndrome, mixed anxiety, restlessness, palpitations and panic attacks," said Dr Jitendra Nagpal, Delhi based clinical Psychiatrist.

"Carbs are fuel of the body and eliminating them can effect the emotion regulating centers of the brain. It is wrong on part of dieticians or weight loss management experts to even suggest taking carbohydrates out of the diet," he added.

There however are some for whom the study warrants more study. A number of factors have to be considered.

In context of diabetes management low carbohydrates have been seen to have positive impact on disease management but the new study needs to be further evaluated as if the patients gets depressed not only will it affect diet control but taking medicines as well," said Dr Anoop Misra, HoD, department of diabetes and metabolism at Fortis Hospitals Noida and Delhi.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Now, try sex with a twist!

. Tuesday, November 10, 2009
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Bored with your sex life? Well, then sensate-focused sex is the name of the game for you.

The nice, slow lovemaking where all you do is focus on your sensations, is the new mantra to renew your sex life as you rediscover each other. Sensate-focused sex exercises involve a series of behavioural practices, which offer variety and increased personal awareness through basic touch.

Originally developed by sex researchers Drs. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.

Particularly for couples in sex therapy, the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.

The benefits of sensate focus include, discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.

Apart from these, going for such exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.

With such non-demands and pleasuring exercises, couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another, touching and feeling each other's bodies.

These highly structured touch activities are about enjoying physical contact to the fullest without trying to arouse each other and should not be mistaken as a form of foreplay, because it is the main experience in itself.

Done in several stages over time, they are tailor-made to a couple's specific issues when working with a sex therapist, reports Fox News.

Couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.

This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.

The rules for sensate focus sex are:

1. Breasts and genitals are off limits for the first few sessions.

2. Verbal feedback is limited unless you're uncomfortable or in pain.

3. Do not try to elicit sexual response (but don't sweat it if it happens).

4. After each session, be sure to process the experience.

When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.

If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.
Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.

The details of sensate focus sex make part of the book ' Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots , by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, who is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc.Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.

The details of sensate focus sex make part of the book ' Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots , by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, who is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc.

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Giving your girl an orgasm

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Keeping a sexual relationship fresh and exciting for years, perhaps decades, is one of the most important challenges facing many couples today, so it's terrific that you're giving it some thought, says The Sun.

Here are 10 simple tips given by The Sun to beat sexual boredom you can try now.

1. Give your love life priority. It's amazing how many couples would say that making love is or should be one of the most important parts of their relationships, yet actually devote just 20 minutes at the end of the occasional busy day.

Most adults do have many demands on their time and energy, but take your role as your partner's lover as seriously as you take your roles as worker, parent, friend, etc. Set aside the time to make love properly while you have energy to share and enjoyment to bring.

2. If you argue over how often you make love, negotiate a compromise. One of the most common sexual conflicts between couples who have been together some time is how often they are going to make love.

It quickly leads to an impasse, where one feels they are always being badgered for sex and so wants it less and less, and the other feels they are always being rejected, so wants it more and more.

Bring the issue out into the open and work out a compromise. If a man wants to make love, say, four times a week and his partner once, they can agree they will make love twice a week.

It usually means they feel far more relaxed and loving together. The man knows that tonight may not be the night, but he can rest assured that Friday will be. His partner can give him a kiss and cuddle on other nights - which reassures him how much he is loved - without worrying it will inevitably lead to a demand for sex.

3. Separate sex from the rest. No relationship is perfect and without friction. Women especially have a tendency to feel they can't think of making love with their partner if they're fed up with him over something else.

Of course you can't - and shouldn't - try to ignore important areas of conflict, but do be careful not to let petty irritations get in the way of making love and set up a vicious circle of rejection and revenge.

4. Take a trip. Of course people starting affairs enjoy it - if they've half a chance they go away together and devote a weekend or a few days to fun and sex. So at least once a year, get away with your legitimate partner to spend as long as possible alone together in a pleasant setting.

Don't feel you have to spend all of your time in bed. It's just as important for the quality of your sex life that you should share some hours of really talking together about your feelings, hopes and fears. Apart from the sex, a major reason why people have affairs is that their lover listens to them in a way their regular partner hasn't been bothering to.

5. Revive the dating game. Remember how before you were a settled couple you would meet up for dates, go out somewhere pleasant, talk together, in fact spend a whole evening going through a ritual designed to put you most at ease together and most looking forward to loving?

Agree with your partner that you will devote every Wednesday night or whenever to talking, sharing a glass of wine, a film, relaxing together. Sex must not be compulsory after these evenings - no more than it should be on a conventional date - but there's a good chance you will both fancy it.

6. Make the most of the unexpected. If you suddenly realise you can both be home from work early one day and have the house to yourselves, use that precious gift of unusual time together to add the freshness of variety to your loving.

It's a wonderful change to make love in daylight if the demands of work and family life usually confine you to after dark.

7. Learn massage. Sharing skilled, all-over body massage is one of the most wonderful gifts you can give one another. It brings great physical pleasure and relaxation to both the giver and the receiver of the massage. You don't always want to go on to have sex straight afterwards but when you do make love it will feel fantastic.

8. Vary your setting. If you always but always make love in your good old double bed, look for chances to vary where you make love as well as when. If you've the house to yourselves at least occasionally, you can revive the fun of the sofa or living room floor of your courting days.

If privacy is a problem, use the remedy of countless courting couples - the back of the car or some other quiet spot. Half the fun of an affair is often seizing even uncomfortable opportunities. Faithful couples shouldn't miss out on it all.

9. Share a bath or a shower. I'm not so much talking about the cliché of making love in the shower, though that's fun when you're in the mood.

It helps keep you close if you make it a habit that one of you sits and chats while the other baths or showers. A simple friendly gesture such as scrubbing the other's back helps keep warm feelings flowing between you.

10. Sort out the turn-offs. Sometimes husband or wives can develop habits or traits that put their partner right off sexually. Bad breath, greasy hair, tatty underwear etc., can all lead to a partner finding excuses to avoid sex or not making love with their old verve.

It's better to be honest. You may be holding back because you worry about hurting your partner's feelings, but the result is that you hurt them and yourself more, because you don't give them the chance to put the problem right. Wouldn't you want to know if it were you?

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