Sex and the Kiss

Sex and the Kiss
Sexually, guys take the act of kissing grossly for granted. They forget that the mouth can get quite inviting and can be used for a multitude of reasons. More often than not men take it that if a woman has to smooch him tightly, she means that she would instantly like to go to bed with him. Even amongst teenagers, guys generally take it that to get a woman agree to his whims and fancies, he needs to get extremely closer to her mouth, it is only then can he get his hands all over her.

But then there are those unfortunate people who are truly bad kissers and possibly to make up for their lack of kissing prowess that they take sex too seriously. Probably a case of the sub-conscious playing on! Many men and women when questioned came along with much the same answers, that they’ve yet to master the art of kissing. There are several kinds of kisses I gather. Some soft, others intimate, some called butterfly kisses and others wet and deep. The way to kiss a person is probably the last thing that parents might teach their children, so peers have to either learn it from the movies or from their friend’s circle. And we all know that half knowledge is dangerous, and even more so if its not been experimented upon. Talking about the kinds of kisses in general, its interesting that sans words, kisses can mean a lot, of course where you might get kissed is quite a different story altogether.

Types of Kisses
We’ll start with the ordinary cute small kiss, that you might have received from your mom, while tucking you in bed. Then comes the teary kiss, during emotional moments, that’s slightly longer than the peck you received last night. Followed by which is the nervy kiss for first time lovers.

The French kiss I am sure needs no introduction, the wet and messy entangling of feelings that mean that there’s more to the story than just lip locking. Close to the heels of this type of kiss is the cannibalistic kiss, the one with bruises, or love bites as it were. These are kisses with a deliberate action of hurting, oops, sorry bruising your loved one, leaving what may experience as a slight sweet feeling pain either on the nape of your neck or close to your ear. These are perhaps two of the most famous places, simply because of the network of sensitized veins that can play havoc with your mental faculties.

Another type of the kiss, quite similar to the cannibalistic kiss is the suffocating one. Here of course along with the bruises that are a default package, you also have two people infuriatingly gasping for breath! Of course this sort of a kiss can be rather suffocating, and a bit dangerous like the French kiss with the saliva passing on any type of infection to the other including the HIV.

The suffocating kiss as I would term it, has three phases. (You may seek to disagree but I guess I could not have broken up this into a more explicit description!) One is the inquisitive phase where you are trying to search for places within each other’s mouth for an enhanced feeling of ecstasy. The second is the overpowering, emotional and pacing kisses almost not letting the other one breathe, and the third phase releases the grasp as it were, and easing the breath of each other, yet prolonging the action into a great, wet and intoxicating kiss! Phew! I said it at last! I really wish I could give you a better description, but then this is the best what I could manage. Go ahead, indulge…. Make love not war!

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Enduring the sex Marathon

Not very often does one get the opportunity to spend extended lovemaking time with their lover, but when such rare occasion does arise one should make it a point to keep it enjoyable as well as enduring.

Enduring a sex marathon can take a few hours or longer if the situation demands it, and many times it could go all night.

Thus, to keep oneself in good form, even the most virile and energetic must rest and rejuvenate, reports Fox News.

Before embarking on your sex marathon, it is better to be well-fed (but not too well) with food that releases energy slowly (such as grains and low GI carbohydrates) and be well hydrated.

And here are some tips on enduring a sex marathon:

Don''t orgasm

You can do this by choosing positions that provide less stimulation - because everyone is different, only you will know what these are for you. Change positions if you feel like you''re losing the power of your drive and erection or getting too close to orgasm. Bear in mind that having an orgasm isn''t the end of the session and you can take a rest before you continue. This is a good time to experiment with positions that you may not have tried with your partner.

Pleasure her to keep the focus off of you

If you do happen to need a rest while enduring a sex marathon or you do orgasm, you can easily shift the focus off of you and onto her. This can include cuddling, fondling, massage, general touching, and kissing. A rest does not have to be totally sexual in nature, and it is just as nice to make love for hours as it is to just touch each other in nice ways - or invent new ways of loving.

Don''t drink too much

Alcohol is known to be a relaxant and can be a wonderful addition to the time you share with your lover. In saying that, after two or more drinks, alcohol lowers a man''s ability to achieve and maintain erections, and can trigger an inability to orgasm for a long time. Alcohol also has sedative effects - it could cause you to fall asleep easily. Drinking can also encourage unsafe behaviour. Drinking too much alcohol will not help enduring a sex marathon.

Get creative

While enduring a sex marathon, you can introduce sex toys like vibrators, beads or sex paraphernalia such as whips, ropes and blindfolds. Food is also a great diversion and pleasure- ice cream, chocolate sauce or whipped cream are great. Get creative - you can draw out the process for quite some time with some very lusty teasing using these objects.

Keep lube handy

One of the main problems of sex play for hours could be dryness, so keep some good quality lubricant handy, one that tastes nice and is non-greasy. A glass of water nearby is also going to be useful, not only to rehydrate but to moisten your mouth.

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How To Increase Stamina During Sex

There are a lot of men that want to learn how to increase sexual stamina. Most men only lasts a couple of minutes in bed. Which can make them upset, because they're not sure what to do about. So, what I'm going to do is share with you some tips on how to increase sexual stamina.

That way, you'll be able to last a long time in bed and be able to give your woman the best orgasm she's ever had.

The tips on increasing your sexual stamina are:

1. The first tip is to eat foods that will help you last longer in bed. The foods that you can eat include eating blueberries. Blueberries have vitamins and other nutrients in it that will help you increase your sexual stamina. Also, you should eat healthy foods like fruits and veggies.

The better you eat, the better your sexual performance will be.

2. Another tip on how to increase sexual stamina is to control your breathing. When having sex, your body is tense and your breathing is heavy. This will cause you to not be able to perform like you want to. Instead, you should breathe deeply and slowly.

Make sure it's natural, though. Forcing it won't help you.

3. The third thing you can do to increase your sexual stamina is to use a secret sexual position. This position is cool because it will help you last longer and will help you give her an orgasm. What you should do is insert your penis into your deep.

Make sure it feels good to her. Next, you should grind your hips, instead of stroking it in and out. The upper part of your penis is sensitive. So, if you are penetrated as deep as you can go, and you grind your hips, you will be able to last a long time in bed. It will also stimulate her clitoris.

These are some tips on how to increase sexual stamina. If you want to last a long time in bed, be sure to use the tips above. It'll help you have the best sex you've ever had, while giving your woman the orgasm she wants.

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Add Quality To Your Sex Life

You may be having a large quantity of sex but that does not mean you are leading a quality sex life.

Instead of going for a frequent and boundless sex you can consider having one or two sex sessions in a pre-planned manner so as to derive immense sexual pleasure and filling excitement in your sex life.

Quality sex will naturally boost your desire for having frequent sex in the long run. So, do not simply focus on the quantity in the beginning; rather think of how to derive maximum pleasure out of infrequent sexual intimacy.

In order to fill quality in your sex life the first and foremost requirement for you and your partner is to be open and communicative to each other. Remember that communication is the key to a healthy sexual relationship.

Make your partner aware of your likes and dislikes so that he or she can know as to how to make session pleasurable and enjoyable for both of you.

Before having sex talk to each other over any sex novels, lovemaking scenes in movie or any story on sex so as to make your lovemaking session exciting.

Remember that quality sex is not something that you can achieve through hurried rush; rather spare time to relax by sharing wine and massaging each other. By giving message you both of you will be able to explore hot spots on each other that are needed for pleasurable and exciting sexual intimacy.

Another essential requirement to achieve quality sex is to fill sex session with some spices and variety. Enjoy all intimate things and do foreplay till half an hour before having intercourse.

Make sex an important part of your life. Remember that your sexual health is one of the most essential requirements for your physical and emotional well being.

Practice exercises to remain sexually fit and energetic. Women can perform Kegel exercises while men should perform exercises to give proper shape to their muscles which in turn will help them control their ejaculations.

Do not forget to include sexual fantasy in your sex life. According to sex therapists fantasy is the most important aspect of human sexuality.

You and your partner must spice up sex life by using videos and masturbation besides performing erotic dance and bondage.

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A good night's sleep much better than Great sex

If a new survey is anything to go by, a good night''s sleep is much better than great sex.

In a global sleep study of more than 12,500 frequent travellers, conducted by Westin Hotels, 52 per cent Asian respondents felt that a great night''s sleep trumped great sex, reports the New Straits Times Online.

The survey also found that 53 per cent would rather have a sleeping pill on their hotel pillow than the ubiquitous chocolate, while 56 per cent took a relaxant, sleep or stress medication when travelling overnight.

One in every two respondents felt a good night''s sleep was very important with 58 per cent believing that today''s technology and constant connectivity impairs sleep.

In the survey, 21 per cent said that the biggest worry that was keeping them up at night were things like bills or mortgage payments, 20 per cent said that problems with their spouse or partner kept them awake and 18 per cent said work related stress prevented them from getting a good night's sleep.

For male travellers in Asia, the main sleep prevention culprit was problems with their spouse or partner (20 per cent) while for females it was bills and mortgage (28 per cent).

For Canadians and Chinese, the biggest worry was problems with the spouse.

55 per cent those surveyed said that a great hotel bed provides a better sleep experience than their beds at home and 50 per cent agreed that sleeping in a hotel bed while on a business trip was a "luxury".

The survey also found that the most important service people expect from a hotel is a good night''s sleep (23 per cent), followed by a good restaurant and shower (16 per cent each).

The survey was conducted on people from Australia, Canada, China, France, Germany, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Spain, the United States and the United Arab Emirates.

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Females don't fall for Flashy males

In the marine world, attracting a mate can be really tricky. A new study on three-spined stickleback fish has found that females do not always trust males who emit strong sexual signals.

Three-spined stickleback is a species of fish in which breeding males develop a red throat in order to attract females. Sticklebacks can breed several times over the course of the summer, but pay a heavy price since few survive for another year.

Now, in the study, evolutionary biologists, from Glasgow and Exeter universities, found "initial flashy displays" by males were not always successful at attracting a mate.

The study said some females waited until sexual signals were more honest as weaker males exhausted themselves with "shows" they could not sustain, reports The BBC.

Lead researcher Dr Jan Lindström found that the honesty of mating displays could vary dramatically over time.

Dr Lindström said: "Honesty in males mostly depends on how many opportunities there are to breed.

"If males can breed now but the future promises little in terms of further matings, all males should immediately reveal their ''true colours'' - so that the signals they produce are a reliable indication of their quality.

"But if males can potentially breed several times over the course of a breeding season, it pays those in best condition to keep some of their strength in reserve.

"In contrast, those males in poorer condition cannot afford to delay seeking a mate, so must signal as hard as they can - with the result that at the start of the breeding season a female cannot reliably judge a male''s quality from his signal.

"However, as time goes on, the poorer condition males must drop out of the competition, leaving only the better ones and making it easier for a female to pick a high quality mate."

Dr Lindström added: "We found that the redness of the males changed over the summer, with all starting out red but only those in good condition being able to sustain their colour.

"As predicted by our model, females seemed to ignore the redness of a male when choosing a mate in early summer, and only developed a preference for redder males later, once it became a more honest signal of a male''s quality."

The study will be published in the scientific journal, American Naturalist.

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Women prefer shorter sex, while males Longer

A new study has shown that female fruit flies prefer keeping sex short and sweet because they get a reproductive boost from shorter intercourse.

Since males like sex to last longer, a fight ensues.

"After about a minute and a half (of mating), the female begins kicking and struggling," National Geographic News quoted Kirsten Klappert, of the Swiss Federal Institute of Aquatic Science and Technology, as having written in the study report.

The researcher notes that when mating lasts longer, female flies have less time to mate again with a different male, if they do so at all.

Although that is good for males flies, as it means that their sperm have less competition, it can be disastrous for females.

"Many male Drosophila montana are infertile, so if you only mate with one you have a high risk of no offspring at all," Klappert said.

During the study, Klappert's team paired live males with dead females to see how much control female flies have over mating length.

The dead insects were propped up to convince the males that they were still alive, and ready for sex, said the researchers.

The team observed that male flies' sex with the dead insects lasted 1.5 times longer than it did with live females.

This finding does attain significance because scientists at other institutions believe that humans can relate to the female fruit fly's desires.

Rhonda Snook, a senior lecturer at the University of Sheffield in England who studies sexual selection and reproductive behaviour in fruit flies, said: "I don''''t know you could say human females want longer copulation, per se. It''''s really the foreplay, not the actual act of copulation. In the insects, prior to that, there''''s courtship going on, and that''''s like foreplay in humans."

A research article describing Klappert's study has been published in the journal BMC Evolutionary Biology.

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Date 12 times for a perfect mate!

Want to find your one and only? Well, then the best chances of finding the perfect partner is to date at least 12 people before even thinking of marriage. That's the calculation of a leading mathematician. According to Clio Cresswell, singles can increase their chances of finding true love by rejecting at least 12 potential partners before settling down. Cresswell's theory, which is based on statistical assessment, claims the chances of divorce is generally very high unless singles date at least a dozen time before they get hitched.

"In Australia, the divorce rate is about 35 per cent for first marriages," the Sydney Morning Herald quoted her as saying. She explained: "Now, if you were buying a DVD player and I told you it had a 35 per cent chance of breaking down, you might think twice about making that purchase.

"But we still insist on going into marriage with this belief that our partner is the one for us and we have a 100 per cent chance of success.

"According to my principle, you have to reject at least 12 people to increase your chance of finding your long-term partner. If you do that, you raise the chance of making it work to 75 per cent."

The senior lecturer in the School of Mathematics and Statistics, in the University of Sydney, has explained her theory in her new book Sex and Mathematics, apart from introducing it into her tertiary classes.

However, she has a grievance that mathematics is not liked by a lot of people. She said: "I think it's so sad that the wider community does not embrace mathematics as much as it could. Mathematics can be fun." (ANI)

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British women lust more after money than Sex

British women are more likely go for extra cash rather than red-hot bedroom sessions, reveals a new survey.

The shocking findings come from a survey commissioned by web firm AOL.

According to the Daily Star, girls were asked if they wanted another 25 pounds a week to spend on themselves, or more nookie.

The study showed that 80 pct of the respondents went for the money rather than the passion.

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Tips for older men

Getting older changes sexual function and desire. Senior sex isn't the same as it was in your 20s — but it can still be satisfying. Contrary to common myths about sexuality and older adults, sex is not just for the young. Many seniors continue to enjoy their sexuality into their 80s and beyond.

A healthy sex life is not only fulfilling, but it's also good for other aspects of your life, including your physical health and self-esteem. Adapting to your changing body can help you maintain a healthy and satisfying sex life. But you may have to make a few changes, such as allowing yourself more time to become aroused and talking more openly with your partner.

Senior sex: What changes as men get older?

As men age, testosterone levels decline and changes in desire and sexual function are common. These changes can include:

• Decreased sexual interest
• A need for more stimulation to achieve and maintain an erection and orgasm
• Shorter orgasms
• Less forceful ejaculation and less semen ejaculated
• Longer time needed to achieve another erection after ejaculation

Your health also can have a big impact on your sex life and sexual performance. If you or your partner is in poor health or has a chronic health condition, such as heart disease or arthritis, sex and intimacy become more challenging.

Certain surgeries and many medications, such as blood pressure medications, antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs, can affect sexual function. Adapt to your changing body and know your limitations. Focus on ways of being sexual and intimate that work for you and your partner. Talk with your doctor about your concerns.

Tips to maintain a healthy sex life later in life:

• Communicate with your partner. Open discussion of sex has become more common in recent years, but many older adults come from a generation where sex remains a taboo subject. But openly talking about your needs, desires and concerns with your partner can make you closer and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy more.
• Talk to your doctor. Talking about sexual issues with your doctor can help you maintain a healthy sex life as you age. Your doctor can help you manage chronic conditions and medications that affect your sex life. Some older men have trouble maintaining an erection or reaching orgasm. Your doctor may be able to prescribe medications or other treatments for these problems.
• Expand your definition of sex. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Touching, kissing and other intimate sexual contact can be just as rewarding for both you and your partner. Realize that as you age, it's normal for you and your partner to have different sexual abilities and needs. Be open to finding new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.
• Change your routine. Simple changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have the most energy. Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep — rather than at the end of a long day. Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing. Try a new sexual position or explore other new ways of connecting romantically and sexually.
• Seek a partner if you're single. It's never too late for romance. It can be difficult starting a relationship after the loss of a partner or being single for a long time — but socializing is well worth the effort for many single seniors. No one ever outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimate love. If you start an intimate relationship with a new partner, be sure to practice safe sex. Many older adults are unaware that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS.
• Stay healthy. Eating regular nutritious meals, staying active, not drinking too much alcohol, and not smoking or using illicit drugs are important for your overall health, and staying healthy can help your sexual performance. Follow your doctor's instructions for taking medications and managing any chronic health conditions.
• Stay positive. The changes that come with aging — from health problems to changes in appearance and sexual performance — leave many men feeling less attractive or feeling they're less capable of enjoying or giving sexual pleasure. Discussing your feelings with your partner can help. Feeling angry, unhappy or depressed has a strong negative impact on your sex life. Professional counseling or other treatment can improve your sex life — and your well-being.

Sex may not be the same for you or your partner as it was when you both were young. But by adapting to your changing body, sex and intimacy can continue to be a fulfilling and rewarding part of your life.

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World's Best cities to eat well

Paris is known for its patisseries, Michelin-starred restaurants and perfectly prepared steak frites. In Rome, square slices of pizza topped with zucchini, Caprese sandwiches and of course, gelato, tempt foodies. In Tokyo, upscale favorites like sashimi and robatayaki rule alongside street food mainstays like Gyudon, a beef and onion mixture served over rice.

Tradition is a powerful sentiment. That's why these pillars of global cuisine remain the top cities for foodies.

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Long working hours may ruin Sexual Health

If teens are allowed to work for long hours in the wrong environment, it could take a toll on their sexual health, claims a new study.

The discovery is just one of the key findings in a University of Michigan study of youth on what predicts age of sex partners.

Jose Bauermeister, one of the study authors, said that age difference of sex partners is important, because a larger age difference is associated with riskier sexual behaviour and STDs, including HIV.

He further said that the study found that a youth''s self esteem and alcohol use also play a role in the age difference between sex partners.

In the study, Bauermeister pointed out that overall, adolescents, who work part-time benefit in almost all areas over those who don''t have jobs.

But he said that those benefits come with caveats.

For the study, the researchers followed youths in Flint, Mich. as they transitioned from adolescence to young adulthood (ages 14 thru 25), to see what factors predicted sex partner age difference.

It was found that many factors can lead to age differences in sex partners, with girls usually dating older than boys and young men.

Bauermeister said that working too many hours in an adult atmosphere without adequate supervision can lead to exposure to adults and eventually sexual activity with older partners, especially for young girls.

Age and number of work hours matter in adolescents, but any negative impact is not apparent after age 18 or 19, the study found.

"It''s OK to let kids work. We want to make sure they are spending time in an environment where it''s safe to work. Parents must ask the right questions and make sure it''s a safe place for their children," said Bauermeister.

He said that high self esteem and low use of alcohol offset the negative effects of working too many hours. Those factors also protect youths overall from engaging in riskier sexual behaviour.

The study also found that girls tend to date older from age 14 on, as do high school dropouts and teens who use alcohol.

Boys at age 14 date their own age until they reach age 18, when they start dating younger women, said Bauermeister.

The study found that sex education programs and other efforts to reduce young sex partners'' age differences should aim to enhance self-acceptance and academic achievement and decrease alcohol use.

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Wrong workplace Prompts teens to bed older Partners

Allowing teens to work too many hours at the wrong place can derail their sexual health by prompting them to bed older partners. This is one of the key findings in a University of Michigan study of youth on what predicts the age of sex partners.

Study co-author Jose Bauermeister, assistant professor in the University's School of Public Health, says the age difference of sex partners is important because a larger age difference is associated with riskier sexual behaviour and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV.

Working too many hours in an adult environ without adequate supervision can lead to exposure to adults and eventually sexual activity with older partners, especially for young girls, Bauermeister said.

His team followed youths in Michigan as they transitioned from adolescence to young adulthood - aged 14 through 25 - to see what factors predicted the sex-partner age- difference.

Many factors can lead to age differences in sex partners, with girls usually dating those older than boys and young men, the study found. Age and number of work hours matter in adolescents, but any negative impact isn't apparent after age 18 or 19, the study found.

The study found that a youth's self-esteem and alcohol use also play a role in the age difference between sex partners, adds Bauermeister.

Bauermeister says the result shows that overall, teenagers who work part-time benefit in almost all areas over those who don't have jobs. However, those benefits come with caveats, he says, according to a university release.

High self-esteem and low use of alcohol offset the negative effects of working too many hours, he said. Those factors also protect youths overall from engaging in riskier sexual behaviour.

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Is your name Popular on net?

Are you a Rahul or a Neha? Chances are, you might happen to bump into your namesakes way too often on the internet, since the just out Google Zeitgeist 2009 lists them as the two most popular names in Delhi. These are followed by Amit, Raj and Rohit, and Priya, Pooja and Priyanka in the popular names rating.

But what’s more interesting is that these common names have propelled close to half a million Orkut users to start their names with special characters like $%^*&.

The survey, an aggregated study of the behaviour of city’s Orkut users over the past seven days, shows Delhiites obsessed with style and being stylish. ‘Stylish People’ is the most active community among city youth.

Commitment, says the survey, is latent among Delhiites. Of the 17 million Orkut users, 49 per cent women, and 32 per cent men are clueless about their relationship status. And it’s not because they’re looking for love online or heading for a break-up. The Google list shows that these 18-30-yr-olds just don’t know where they’re in life — as opposed to the 2 percent who claim to be in ‘open’ relationships, and the 50 odd per cent who say they’re single! It’s not like the confused bunch is here to date either. Only 36 per cent guys, and 22 per cent girls are online looking for a date. For over 70 per cent social networking is a ladder to a larger friend circle.

Delhi’s top communities
1. Stylish people
2. Chocolate
3. India
4. Boys vs Girls (Who is d best?)
5. Unforgettable School Life
6. MTV & still more MTV
7. I hate to wake up early
8. India stock market
9. Don’t Worry Be Happy
10. Jat World

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The top 100 dirtiest sites Enlisted

Internet security company Norton Symantec has come up with a list of Top 100 Dirtiest sites, which could infect your computer with malware.

Malware is a software that can damage or compromise a computer system without the owner's consent.

Natalie Connor, spokeswoman of the anti-virus company, said that even visiting any of the named websites could expose a computer to infection and put the personal information into the hands of unwanted people.

"What people don't realise is when you type in a website, you're bringing down information on a page and with it could be malware," News.com.au quoted her as saying.

The list was compiled with the help of global data collected on Norton Safe Web, a site that analysed websites' security risks.

The infected sites had on average 18,000 threats and 40 per cent of the sites had more than 20,000 threats, while 75 per cent of websites on the list were found to be spreading malware for over six months.

According to Connor, most websites in the list had adult content with unprintable names, suggesting they contained hardcore pornography.

Some others sites include those on ice skating, deer hunting, catering and legal services.

Hackers can apparently obtain personal information using keystroke-logging software from both PCs and Mac computers.

The reps said that hackers are a force to reckon with as cyber crime is increasing rapidly.

She added: "The last thing we want to do is scare people, we want to educate them so they know how to protect themselves.

"It's not about the fame any more of creating viruses and getting in the media. They're making money."

Norton released a sample of the dirtiest websites:

17ebook.com
aladel.net
bpwhamburgorchardpark.org
clicnews.com
dfwdiesel.net
divineenterprises.net
fantasticfilms.ru
gardensrestaurantandcatering.com
ginedis.com
gncr.org
hdvideoforums.org
hihanin.com
kingfamilyphotoalbum.com
likaraoke.com
mactep.org
magic4you.nu
marbling.pe.kr
nacjalneg.info
pronline.ru
purplehoodie.com
qsng.cn
seksburada.net
sportsmansclub.net
stock888.cn
tathli.com
teamclouds.com
texaswhitetailfever.com
wadefamilytree.org
xnescat.info
yt118.com

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Marijuana can affect your Sex drive!

A new study from La Trobe University in Melbourne has found that men who regularly smoke pot are four times more likely to have trouble reaching orgasm. During the study, lead researcher Marian Pitts analysed the data collected as part of a 2005 telephone survey of 16- to 64-year-olds.

It showed that overall, 8.7 per cent of respondents said they had gotten high in the last year, with twice as many men (11.2 per cent) admitting to marijuana use as women (6.1 per cent). Although male smokers experienced sexual problems, they still had more partners than non-smokers, reports New Scientist.

The findings showed that marijuana users were twice as likely to have had two or more sex partners in the previous year than men who didn't smoke pot. Pitts' team found an even stronger trend for increased sexual activity among female smokers, who were also seven times more likely to have been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection in the last year than non-smokers. However, they had no more problems in the bedroom than abstainers. The new study supports the results of the research led by Marie Eloi-Stiven at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York, which found that marijuana users were far more likely than others to take Viagra.

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American women prefer water to Sex!

For American women drinking the recommended daily amount of water is more important than having enough sex, a new poll has revealed.

In the "Women's Wellness Poll”, drinking water was fifth in the list of priorities, two spots ahead of having sex. While, first on the list was getting enough sleep followed by keeping their stress levels low, the New York Post reports. Third was finding time to relax, and fourth was eating healthy.

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It's more fun if you're fit for Sex

Fit women have more orgasms, a survey has discovered - and doing regular pelvic exercises can increase your chances of ecstasy, reports The Sun.

Eight out of ten women improved their sex lives in four weeks by doing the exercises daily - and seven out of ten of their partners said sex was better for them, too.

The findings have emerged in an ongoing survey underway in the lead up to National Orgasm Day on 31 July 2008, as reported in The Sun.

The survey also found that seven out of ten women can find their G-spot - but 28 per cent of women don't orgasm during sex or play.

Just of half of women who answered said they do some pelvic floor exercises but almost all said they would make more effort if they had information on the right routines.

Mums who gave birth naturally are the most likely to benefit from pelvic floor exercises because muscles can be stretched or damaged during childbirth.

Pelvic floor exercises - sometimes called Kegel exercises, after the doctor who developed them - involve tensing and relaxing the muscles lining the vagina.

But new mums are often given only an exercise sheet outlining the exercises and the demands - and exhaustion - of caring for a new baby mean they are often skipped.

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Bad Marriage: Four options

Ours was a love marriage that had the blessings of our parents. The wedding was a grand affair. Not wanting to embarrass my well-placed in-laws, my parents went way beyond their means.

For a while, life was idyllic. Then my husband started becoming less attentive, increasingly argumentative, and began putting in longer hours at his workplace. One day, he didn’t come home. He returned after a couple of days saying he’d had to take a sudden trip out of town. When this happened a few more times, I enquired with his friends and collegues and stumbled on an extra-marital affair that had been going on for 10 years.

I dug out the lady’s address and dropped in on her. She was out but I spotted photographs of my husband and her together. She was a widow with two sons.. One was still studying while the other had just started working. My husband had been paying for their upbringing.

The beatings began
That evening I confronted Paritosh (name changed). He didn’t deny the affair. He told me he had duped me because he needed a wife who was socially acceptable. He was aware that his older, widowed lover would never be welcomed home but had hoped I’d learn to share him with her. No way, I raged, and the beatings started.

I was four months pregnant but that didn’t stop him from getting verbally and physically abusive. After a couple of months, I returned to my parents. He refused to support me.

I was wondering what to do when my younger sister came home one evening from a training programme and educated me about the Domestic Violence Act. She urged me to press for my rights. I went to the cops and filed charges. I didn’t want a divorce but I told Paritosh that if he didn’t come home, I’d make sure he paid the betrayal of trust.

Initially, he resisted. His lover, too, refused to let him go. But after several counselling sessions and talks with his parents, we reconciled. Our newborn baby helped bring us together. I took him back even though he’d cheated on me. He’s stopped visiting his lover. He’s stopped abusing me. The nightmare seems to have ended.

Social worker Kanmani’s take
I visited the couple a month ago. Sunita (name changed) seemed happy. Paritosh has promised never look at another woman. But I can’t help wondering if a leopard can change its spots completely. He did betray her trust once.

‘Speak up and fight for your rights’
Sonali Khan, director communications, has for the last five years, spearheaded Breakthrough’s mass media initiative in India. Breakthrough is a non-profit, international human rights organisation using the power of popular culture, media, and education to transform public attitudes. It will complete 10 years next year.

In 2005, Breakthrough’s first multi-media campaign addressed women’s vulnarabiltity to HIV. “What kind of man are you?” was released in seven languages. Its second campaign raised the issue of stigma and discrimination faced by HIV positive women. Both these award winning camapigns have reached out to over a 100 million people. Bell bajao! (featuring Boman Irani) is the latest initiative and addresses over 130 million, appealing against domestic violence.

Khan who was a senior correspondent with Televsion 18 and an independent producer of documentaries, points out that domestic violence transcends caste, culture and class boundaries but is often swept under the carpet. “In the last one-and-a-half years, I’ve heard so many stories about abuse even from progressive, upper-class, financially independent women who are afraid to come out for fear of social stigma. But the only way out of the nightmare is to speak up and fight for your rights,” asserts Khan.

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Math formula says date at least 12 times to find the perfect Mate!

Want to find your one and only? Well, then the best chances of finding the perfect partner is to date at least 12 people before even thinking of marriage.

That's the calculation of a leading mathematician.

According to Clio Cresswell, singles can increase their chances of finding true love by rejecting at least 12 potential partners before settling down.

Cresswell's theory, which is based on statistical assessment, claims the chances of divorce is generally very high unless singles date at least a dozen time before they get hitched.


"In Australia, the divorce rate is about 35 per cent for first marriages," the Sydney Morning Herald quoted her as saying.


She explained: "Now, if you were buying a DVD player and I told you it had a 35 per cent chance of breaking down, you might think twice about making that purchase.


"But we still insist on going into marriage with this belief that our partner is the one for us and we have a 100 per cent chance of success.


"According to my principle, you have to reject at least 12 people to increase your chance of finding your long-term partner. If you do that, you raise the chance of making it work to 75 per cent."

The senior lecturer in the School of Mathematics and Statistics, in the University of Sydney, has explained her theory in her new book Sex and Mathematics, apart from introducing it into her tertiary classes.

However, she has a grievance that mathematics is not liked by a lot of people.

She said: "I think it's so sad that the wider community does not embrace mathematics as much as it could. Mathematics can be fun."

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Facebook Fuels jealousy in relationships

Married couples, beware of Faceboook. It triggers jealousy in your spouse.

The more time you spend surfing this social networking website, the more jealous your partner feels, says a new Canadian study.

The study also finds that the need for popularity drives young people to disclose more personal information on Facebook than they normally would reveal.

In their study, Emily Christofides and Amy Muise of the University of Guelph near Toronto say Facebook use leaves many triggers for jealousy in your partner.

Says lead author Amy Muise,"You check your partner's (Facebook) page and you see a post from someone you don't know that says, 'It was great seeing you last night'.

"Even though it could be something very innocent, it can easily be interpreted another way.''Once triggered, she says, Facebook-fuelled jealously leads your spouse to dig for more information about your chat partners, thus setting in motion a vicious cycle.

If it is not stopped immediately, your relationship may soon go from "married'' to "complicated'' to divorced.

According to the study, though the majority of people (76 per cent) are concerned about privacy and information control, they still disclose a great deal of personal information in online environments.

"They share and show more about themselves than they might in other social settings. We wanted to find out if different psychological factors are involved in that behaviour,'' says co-author Christofides.

This includes information about birthdays, email addresses, hometowns, school and degree major, and intimate photographs, she says.

Christofides says that the nature of the social networking website is a contributing factor as Facebook includes a template where users fill in information - from their name to relationship status to even their religion.

"This creates 'norms' regarding what specific information to disclose based on what others have disclosed,'' she says.

As a result, people may choose to leave out revealing information, she adds.

"The need for popularity was (also) found to be a significant predictor of information disclosure," adds lead author Amy Muise. Thus information disclosure becomes the key factor in assessing one's popularity on Facebook.

"What others share and say about you is also a part of Facebook. The people who are the most popular are those whose online identity is actively participated in by others. So the more you share, the more others respond,''says the study.

Thus, popularity and disclosure become inextricably linked, the researchers say.

"People with a high need for popularity may indeed care about their privacy, but they may not be willing to sacrifice their popularity by implementing privacy controls,'' according to Christofides.

As part of their study, the two researchers surveyed 343 Facebook users, all university students between the ages of 17 and 24.

Facebook, which has over 200 million users worldwide, is also the most popular networking website in Canada. The study has been published in the journal CyberPsychology and Behaviour

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Good looks don't sell

Cosmetic retailers, who think that employing an attractive salesgirl on the shelf would boost up their sales, need a reality check, for a new research has revealed that young women do not like to buy their make-up from better looking women.

The research has debunked the myth that female shoppers will want to be like her and buy what she wears or uses.

The study''s author, Bianca Price, of the University of South Australia, said that those surveyed reported that they felt intimidated by more attractive sales staff.

''If (the staff) were incredibly attractive, for the average girl that would be quite confronting and threatening, and often result in reduced purchasing intentions,'''' she said.

Price, 27, conducted the study as part of her PhD and interviewed 341 female university students between the ages of 18 and 26.

She selected a mix of photos of conventionally attractive and unattractive women, which she then used as hypothetical staff members in focus group interviews.

She matched the photos of the women with two products, mascara and a mobile phone, and asked respondents to assess their attractiveness compared with the women and then to imagine how they would respond to the person if they were selling the products.

The study found that the decline in purchasing intentions was not as pronounced for the mobile phones as it was for the mascara.

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Girls prefer shorter sex

A new study has shown that female fruit flies prefer keeping sex short and sweet because they get a reproductive boost from shorter intercourse.

Since males like sex to last longer, a fight ensues.

"After about a minute and a half (of mating), the female begins kicking and struggling," National Geographic News quoted Kirsten Klappert, of the Swiss Federal Institute of Aquatic Science and Technology, as having written in the study report.

The researcher notes that when mating lasts longer, female flies have less time to mate again with a different male, if they do so at all.

Although that is good for males flies, as it means that their sperm have less competition, it can be disastrous for females.

"Many male Drosophila montana are infertile, so if you only mate with one you have a high risk of no offspring at all," Klappert said.

During the study, Klappert’s team paired live males with dead females to see how much control female flies have over mating length.

The dead insects were propped up to convince the males that they were still alive, and ready for sex, said the researchers.

The team observed that male flies’ sex with the dead insects lasted 1.5 times longer than it did with live females.

This finding does attain significance because scientists at other institutions believe that humans can relate to the female fruit fly’s desires.

Rhonda Snook, a senior lecturer at the University of Sheffield in England who studies sexual selection and reproductive behaviour in fruit flies, said: "I don't know you could say human females want longer copulation, per se. It's really the foreplay, not the actual act of copulation. In the insects, prior to that, there's courtship going on, and that's like foreplay in humans."

A research article describing Klappert’s study has been published in the journal BMC Evolutionary Biology.

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The girl with two Vaginas

Suffering periods that lasted up to 21 days and finding sex difficult, Lauren Williams knew that something was wrong.

The 28-year-old from Chingford, Essex, was stunned to discover she had been born with a rare medical condition, which left her with two vaginas, two wombs and two cervixes.

Following the shocking diagnosis, and after an operation to create one single vagina, Lauren is enjoying life more and is even able to laugh about her unique configuration.

In her early twenties, Lauren could never have guessed the reason why she found some sexual positions uncomfortable."I just presumed I must have a short vagina." It was only when she went for a smear test at 24 that she was alerted to the fact that she could have a medical problem. Lauren explains: "I'd had smear tests done before but they were all with nurses. This time I saw a doctor who said that something didn't look quite right down there and referred me to a gynaecologist."

By this time, Lauren also had concerns about her periods which were lasting 21 days. "I put it down to the fact that I'd been using a contraceptive implant for three years which had made my cycle go haywire."

The gynaecologist diagnosed Lauren with a bicornuate uterus, which meant that it had a septum down the middle giving it the shape of a heart.

As this could have increased her chances of miscarriage in the future, she was booked in for an operation to fix it.

After coming round from the anaesthetic, a doctor came to tell her that she'd been misdiagnosed.

"He arrived with a troop of other medics and sat on my bed," Lauren recalls. "He seemed quite excited and said that they'd got the prognosis wrong. I didn't have a bicornuate uterus after all. I actually had two of everything. Two uteruses, two cervixes and two vaginas. I was shocked. I'd never noticed that I had two vaginas and none of my previous boyfriends had either. Even the doctor said he'd never seen anything like it before."

The surgeon removed the barrier between her two vaginas, leaving her with one big one. "The vagina I was using was half the size of a normal one."

Following the operation Lauren had to keep packing her vagina with giant swabs to prevent a new barrier from forming.

"I'd never really examined myself down there before," she says. "But it seemed strange to me how none of the doctors and nurses that I'd seen over the years had cottoned on to the problem."

"I was worried that I'd been left with a huge vagina, but I felt uncomfortable about bringing it up with the doctors." It was two weeks before Lauren was able to have sex with her boyfriend of a year, Mike, 31.

"He wasn't at all fazed by my medical revelation, but the first time we made love after the operation was a big deal for me. I felt like I was some sort of born again virgin. The sex was fine though and I no longer found certain positions uncomfortable."

Lauren has now been able to lead a normal life. "Having two of everything doesn't bother me. I find it quite amusing and don't mind telling people about it." If she decides to have a family she will have to take extra precautions while pregnant. "The doctor told me that conceiving won't be a problem as the uterus with the baby inside will push the other one to one side. But I'll have to use condoms throughout the pregnancy to stop myself falling pregnant in my other womb. That's going to feel really weird."

Lauren separated from Mike in March last year and has been single ever since.

"My vagina looks completely normal so I've got no fears about getting into a new relationship. As a veterinary nurse I compare myself to a cat as they've got two uterine horns! I accept who I am and any boyfriend will have to too inside and out."

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Why girls can’t resist the Geeks

In what may help understand why geeks get the girls, a study on the Satin Bowerbird’s mating rituals has for the first time directly linked a male's cognitive performance to his luck with the ladies.

"Males that are better problem-solvers are mating with more females," New Scientist magazine quoted says Jason Keagy, a behavioural ecologist at the University of Maryland in College Park, as saying.

The researcher points out that males construct elaborate shrines – bowers – to woo females, who judge them by the quality of their ornately decorated grass bowers, and elaborate mating dances.

Keagy says that both features let males to show off their smarts.

For their study, Keagy and colleagues developed a bowerbird IQ test to record which males attracted the most females over two breeding seasons.

The tests required males to remove red blocks, a colour they find odious, from their bowers in two different ways.

In one test, the researchers placed blocks under a clear plastic container, which birds had to knock off before removing the blocks. In the second test, they presented males with an unmoveable red block screwed into the ground.

The researchers observed that the smartest males determined that covering the block with leaves was the best way to obscure it.

According to Keagy, one possibility is that the tests reflect on duties connected to mating, and males that are better at problem-solving may construct more appealing bowers.

As to why do females favour more intelligent males, the researcher says that intelligence seems to act as an indicator of the genetic quality of a potential mate, and the genes he will pass onto his offspring.

"A male that has a well functioning brain is probably going to be good at surviving. It's almost like a way of interpreting all this information about the genetic quality of a male," Keagy says.

Two recent studies conducted by Geoffrey Miller, of the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque, and his wife Rosalind Arden, of King's College in London, have also shown that more intelligent men among Vietnam veterans experienced fewer health problems, such as hernias and cataracts, than less intelligent men.

They also found performance on intelligence to be associated with healthy sperm in a smaller subset of vets.

A research article describing Keagy’s study has been published in the journal Animal Behaviour.

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Men avoiding sex counselling before Marriage

A new study has revealed that men on the verge of marriage should avoid sex counselling if they want to have a "problem-free" love life.

The study looked into the sexual prowess of couples, and found that women who undergo pre-wedding counselling were more satisfied in the marital bedroom, whereas men who do not attend counselling were more satisfied in bed.

In the research, 36 couples were asked to undergo premarital sex counselling, while 35 were asked not to, and the results showed that the sessions reduced fear and reluctance in the bedroom.

"Through its ability to address and remove fear and misunderstanding and the resulting sexual reluctance and related problems, premarital sexual education and counselling can contribute to sexual satisfaction," News.com.au quoted the researchers as saying.

Almost 81 per cent of women who attended the sessions had a "problem-free sexual life", compared to their non-counselled counterparts of which 77 percent had a similar result.

But the researchers, from Pamukkale University and Ege University in Turkey, found that the sex lives of men were much better without the counselling.

Despite the difference in satisfaction between the genders, the researchers said that couples should attend the sex counselling.

"A recommendation to encourage engaged couples to attend premarital sexual counselling is made based on the findings," the research said of the findings published in the CSIRO journal Sexual Health.

"It is thought that an intervention plan ... will help nurses guide recently married couples to greater sexual satisfaction," the researchers added.

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How to de-stress your Sex-life

Do you feel that stress is squeezing the fun out of your bedroom life?

If yes, then you can bring back the action, courtesy tips provided by sex educator and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright. According to the expert, many couples become frustrated, even panicky, when their sex lives go to the wayside during stressful times. When it comes to the factor that governs a person's sex life, it's personality, reports Fox News.

Fulbright says that how an individual's sex life fares depends on whether he tries to get closer to his partner in tragic times or wants to be totally alone and if he's the withdrawing sorts, then it can create misunderstandings in the relationship.

In order to avoid any such misunderstandings and still keep sex life full of fun and passion, Fulbright has suggested that couples need to establish a common ground and mutual understanding during stressful times.

Also, they should make an effort to stay connected during life's highs and lows, because if they don't, it could lead to dire consequences. And in case, sex is not on mind and also the time to be spent in the sack is less, then a person can try the following:

1. Showing appreciation for one another. Giving compliments, for example, is a simple way of expressing affection and letting your partner know that he or she is still being noticed and loved.

2. Talking daily. Chat during dinner or at bedtime. Conversations foster bonding by providing support. It's also important for couples to check in with each other, showing concern and care for one another's well-being with simple statements like, "Tell me about your day."

3. Staying positive . Bite your tongue if you're about to complain. Stressful situations are hard enough to deal with. Don't add to it if you can avoid doing so.

4. Believing in your future together. Stressful times can make lovers doubt their ability to stay together for the long haul. Insecurity issues that arise can only make matters more difficult. Making plans is one way to indicate that you're feeling secure about your future.

5. Helping each other with responsibilities . Approaching tasks with a team effort provides a greater sense of being in ‘this’ together.

6. Balancing ‘alone time’ and ‘together time.’ Create a sensual atmosphere, for example, soothing scents, dim lights, delicious food, and relaxing music to help you unwind.

7. Getting creative in how you'll be intimate . Redefine your definition of sexual intimacy when needed; try a simple body massage.

Not to forget, lovers should make it a point to give in to one another's requests for intimacy whenever possible, as it might just prove to be a big stress-buster. In fact, sex has many physical and emotional benefits, which may help in boosting your desire for more sex and emotional intimacy. Sex can easily take your mind off of your worries.

Also, patience is the key to get your sex life back on track. One should make sure that your relationship, in general, doesn't get neglected.

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Most infamous celeb sex tapes!

Some celebs will go to any length to get publicity. One easy way it seems is to come out with a sex tape. Mc Steamy and his beauty queen wife are the latest to drop the towel. EOnline lists some of the best-known infamous sex tapes.

Rob Lowe: Two of his videotaped trysts leaked in 1988-including one that involved a 16-year-old.

Paris Hilton: Her 2003 romp with Rick Salomon essentially made her a household name.

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee: Marked Pam's second time going to court over a sex tape-the first was with Bret Michaels.

R. Kelly: Managed to trump Lowe by involving a 14-year-old.

Dustin Diamond: Screech claims he didn't condone the release, but the video backer says otherwise.

Kim Kardashian and Ray J: Much like Paris Hilton, this tape catapulted Kardashian to stardom.

Kid Rock and Scott Stapp: Five words: Groupies on a tour bus.

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Sex can be fun for teens

Britain''s National Health Service wants children to have a positive approach to sex, for which it has come up with new pamphlet, called Pleasure.

NHS in the Sheffield, South Yorkshire has released the booklet.

It apparently contains a section called "an orgasm a day'''' encouraging educators to inform teens about the positive physical and emotional effects of sex and masturbation, apart from demonstrations about how to use condoms and other contraceptives.

Teachers will now need to emphasise that sexual relations can be healthy and pleasurable instead of simply explaining the mechanics of sex and warning about diseases.

However, some people claim it will increase promiscuity.

"Some of it is good sense, but I think it''s wrong is to suggest that 16-year-olds should wantonly enter into having sexual intercourse for pleasure,'''' the Daily Telegraph quoted Anthony Seldon, headmaster of Wellington College, as saying.

He said: "I think this is medically wrong and emotionally wrong and will increase teenage pregnancy and impact negatively on the formation of a long-term loving relationship.''''

However, Steve Slack, who helped produce the leaflet as Director of the Centre for HIV & Sexual Health in Sheffield, said: "Far from promoting teenage sex, it is designed to encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are sure they will enjoy the experience.''''

Also, Ruth Smith, news editor of Children & Young People Now magazine, believes that the booklet will help young people become more comfortable with their sexuality.

He said: "Research shows young people feel pressured to have sex before they''re ready,'''' she said. "This booklet is intended to give them the skills to discuss it. It''s not a licence to go out and have sex, it''s saying if you do, do it, wait until you''re ready and enjoy it. It makes them more confident and more able to say no.

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Kissing ‘poses Herpes risk’

The next time you kiss your partner, keep this health warning in mind – the symbol of affection is a major transmitter of herpes.

While kissing 'demonstrates love and affection', it also poses risks, warns the Australian Herpes Management Forum (AHMF) ahead of the roll-out of a national ad campaign.

AHMF executive director Tricia Berger says that kissing poses risks to both adults and children.

"No parent kissing their child or partner kissing their girlfriend wants to pass along the Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), but people should be aware this is the main method of transmission," the NZPA quoted Berger as saying.

"Once you have been infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus stays in your body for life and can be reactivate at any time," Berger added.

HSV-1, the variant of the virus otherwise referred to as cold sores, is commonly acquired as a child from contact, often a kiss, with adult relatives.

Berger says that when a person becomes infected, they will not always have typical cold sore symptoms.

"If you have a herpes sore on or near your mouth, its likely that you'll pass the virus along to whomever you kiss," she says.

"It is also possible to transmit the virus even when there are no apparent sores or symptoms, but the risk is higher when the sores are visible," she added.

HSV-1 is also behind 40 per cent of genital herpes cases, while about 12 per cent of people have the virus' HSV-2 variant, which is the most common cause of genital herpes.

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Cheating Hubby gifts jewels to wife!

A cheating husband showered his wife with expensive jewellery every time he repeated infidelity, leading her to gather a collection worth almost 300,000 pounds.

Businessman Robert Charlton, from Leicester, UK, made up for breaking his wedding vows by gifting diamond jewels to wife Elizabeth, who was apparently aware of his extra-marital activities.

The unusual arrangement was said to have worked for the couple until Charlton passed away aged 63 in 1979.

Elizabeth, who allegedly told friends the gifts made it easier for her to forgive her husband, died in 2006, leaving her collection to their only child Marie, who put it to auction and raised 286,000 pounds.

“It is a beautiful collection of fine diamond jewellery. There were 43 items in total,” the Daily Express quoted Clare Durham, of auctioneers Woolley and Wallis of Salisbury, Wiltshire, as saying.

Clare added: “His daughter was aware of what was going on and the family have told us the story – it was no secret.”

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Dare to date a mate's sister

For many guys, there is an unwritten rule that dating a mate's sister is a definite no-no.
But what if you were falling for your friend's sibling? reports The Sun.

Would you pluck up the courage and come clean about your feelings or would it be better to keep things schtum?

The Sun's MY Sun put the question to the fellas in our forums, who have been debating this difficult dilemma at length.

goonergurner has first hand experience: "I have a mate who's like a brother to me, I found out his sister fancied me. I secretly fancied her back."

But pals come before gals: "I never did anything about it and never would. My friendship was WAY more important than being a little bit attracted to his sister."

Sister act a bad idea?

Some users can't see the problem: "I would not have an issue with it ... have never done it as most of my mates' sisters were not my type ... or too young" reports The Sun.

wayne-d follows suit: "What's wrong with dating your mate's sister? I've been out with my mates' sisters in the past without a problem!

"It's when you date your own sister, you have problems!" he jokes.

What if the shoe was on the other foot, and your friend fancied YOUR sister?

ed_the_egg has a stern warning for mates who might: "As long as my friend looked after my sis he could date her - if he did not, well ... "

However, it's still a no-go area for many guys: "Nuh-uh, no way! A gentleman never crosses that line!" says erikthefantom .

"There are plenty of fine fillies out there, why would you risk a friendship? I believe it shows complete disrespect."

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Afghanistan: New law says husbands can Starve wives who refuse sex

The repressive family law that just went into effect in Afghanistan, at least, should make us pause to consider whether there is a good outcome in that nation.

The law, a tamer version of one that caused an international outcry earlier this year, allows men to withhold food from a wife who refuses to have sex. For as long as he sees fit. That's right, husbands have been given the option of starving their wives to death.

The law also leaves a woman's right to work solely in the hands of her husband. And this is the compromise law?

The fact is, it has the tacit, at least, support of Afghan President Hamid Karzai. This is the man Afghanis Congress applauded wildly five years ago. He's also the guy Afghanis are almost certain to re-elect later this week as President.

It's been said he controls Kabul, and little else. It's also been said his support for this family law is an attempt to gain some support among the conservative Shi'ite population that pushed it.

I'd say, however, that if the way forward in this central Asian country is paved with such fine legislation, than we really need to redefine what it means to be winning.

We like to mix and match Iraq and Afghanistan in our minds. But as former U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker noted, America is trying to rebuild Iraq. In Afghanistan, we're starting from scratch.

This is a very bad building block. The fact that it's seen as necessary for sucess there is a very bad sign for our future in that country.

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Obama ’supports repeal’ of same-sex marriage ban, Lawyers say

The Obama administration sent mixed signals on same sex-marriage Monday, frustrating both sides of the contentious issue.

In a legal brief filed Monday, Justice Department lawyers asserted that the administration “does not support” a law that limits the federal definition of marriage to heterosexual couples, calling it “discriminatory” and saying that the administration “supports its repeal.”

Yet in that same brief, Justice Department lawyers ask a judge to throw out a lawsuit against the that very same law, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

It is a sign that the Obama administration is feeling pressure from gay-rights groups, who say President Obama has not done enough for their cause since his inauguration. For its part, the administration appears to feel caught between its duty to defend a law that it sees as legitimate and a desire to overturn it.

In Monday’s brief, lawyers said that Congress acted reasonably when it passed the law, which not only defines marriage as being between a man and a women but also gives states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriages performed elsewhere.

“We appreciate that this brief represents progress, but it falls short of where it needs to be,” says Jennifer Pizer, senior counsel and Marriage Project Director for Lambda Legal, a gay and lesbian rights group.

Ms. Pizer and other gay rights advocates would like to see the administration back away from any defense of DOMA.

Mr. Obama said he would like to see DOMA overturned by Congress.

But he said in a statement Monday that the administration is obliged to defend lawsuits that challenge federal law.

Jurisprudence does not suggest that that is necessarily so, according to Lambda Legal. It cites eight cases since 1983 in which courts upheld an administration’s right to not defend laws passed during previous administrations.

“This list is not to suggest that the administration is completely outside of mainstream thought in deciding to defend DOMA, but just to show that [the Department of Justice] certainly does not have an absolute duty to defend,” Ms. Pizer writes in an e-mail

In Monday’s brief, the government contended that the plaintiffs in this case, a gay couple from California, have not shown that other states did not recognize their marriage or that they have been denied federal benefits.

The administration’s approach to the case has angered many in the gay-rights community. In an earlier brief – in June – Justice Department lawyers asserted that DOMA did not amount to discrimination against gay couples.

One advocate of DOMA sees the new statement within Monday’s brief as a placatory gesture with little legal significance. “The only thing that I see that has changed since June is that they are responding to the outcry that erupted from the advocates of same-sex marriage,” says Peter Sprigg, senior fellow for policy studies at the Family Research Council.

But that in itself is a disturbing development for organizations that oppose same-sex marriage. “It’s inconsistent with his stated beliefs that marriage should be a union between a man and a woman,” says Mr. Sprigg.

Lambda Legal’s Pizer says she thinks Monday’s brief has an importance beyond the political. Opponents of same-sex marriage, which is now legal in six states, have long charged that such unions are harmful to children. In Monday’s papers, the government made a firm stance against such claims.

Government lawyers said that the US “does not believe that DOMA is rationally related to any legitimate government interests in procreation and child-rearing” and supported scientific evidence “that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are as likely to be well-adjusted as children raised by heterosexual parents.”

Pizer says that she expects a bill to overturn DOMA to be introduced when Congress returns from summer recess. “There is just a different level of awareness today than 13 years ago when [DOMA] was enacted.”

Moreover, she says that two other cases against DOMA are pending. Those, says Pizer, clearly state the harm faced by same-sex couple who are denied federal benefits because of their marriage status

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Women like to target men who are in Relationships

A scientific study has found evidence that women like to target men who are already in relationships.

Researchers at Oklahoma State University in the US use the term 'mate poaching' to describe this phenomenon.

During the study, they showed a picture of a moderately attractive man or woman to participants.

Half of the participants were told that the prospective mate was single, while the rest were told that they were not.

Researchers Dr Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker observed that 90 per cent of the women participants were interested in a man when told that he was in a relationship, compared to 59 per cent when told the same man was single.

"This finding indicates that single women are considerably more interested in pursuing a man who is less available to them," the Telegraph quoted them as concluding.

"This may be because a man who is attached has already shown his ability to commit and, in a sense, has been pre-screened by another woman," they added.

The researchers also noted that men, on the other hand, expressed no preference about whether a woman was in a relationship or not.

"The results showed that only single women were more interested in pursuing an attached target rather than a single target," they said.

A research article describing the study has been published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

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